TGO Challenge 2015, Pt VIII: My Amazing Brother David

Just less than two years ago, on 6th June - 'D Day' - 2013, my brother David was wheeled into an operating theatre in Oxford to have a perfectly healthy kidney removed. As he was wheeled out I was wheeled in, and I have been carrying Dave's kidney ('Our Kid') ever since.

This man's generosity and courage saved my life. I now have three kidneys and Dave has just the one. 

Three weeks before I set off for The Challenge this year, Dave received some dreadfully bad news. He was diagnosed with IgA Nephropathy. He has the same chronic kidney disease I was diagnosed with some thirty years ago.

To say that we and our family are stunned by this news is an understatement.

Prior to this bombshell, Dave had planned to walk a couple of days with Phil and me from Ballater to Tarfside. We thought it would be fun for all four kidneys to make the trip ~ a celebration of life and a small 'thank you' from me. Well, I saw it that way, but I'm not so sure Dave did ~ he's still scarred from our walks together when we were lads.

I'm sure Dave won't mind me mentioning that he was completely knocked sideways by this appalling turn of events, but he was determined to walk with me. I promised his wife, Debbie, that I would look after him and make sure he wouldn't do anything to worsen his condition ~ He was feeling quite poorly.

*****

DAY ELEVEN

So, it's Monday morning, and we wave goodbye to Debs and head off to our overnight stop below Mount Keen.

PROUD BALLATER. CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL BRAVELY SMILING FOR THE CAMERA IN THE COLD AND RAIN

We have barely left Ballater when the rain showers start. Bugger. This is not what I had planned at all! We plug on stoically, now covered head to toe in waterproofs.

PHIL'S PICTURE. ME AND DAVE

KEEPING OUR SPIRITS UP: IT'S NOT RAINING SOMEWHERE.    C/O PHIL

STILL IN STEP.    C/O PHIL

As we approach the shack at the junction we come across this little fellow, as tame as tame things can be, who follows us for a hundred yards or so, before heading back to where he found us.

GERTIE GROUSE. CLICK TO ENLARGE

A FEW STEPS AWAY WE FIND A GROUSE NEST

Having promised faithfully to look after Dave, we drag him on a more unconventional route, trackless of course, through some quite tough bogs over the hills. Should the clouds lift, the views will be stunning. 

However, they don't.

It's a long knee-wrenching descent directly down to our chosen camp spot, and just before we get there, the heavens open. Stair-rods. Oh Joy. Dave is sharing Trinnie Trailstar with me and I have her up in reasonable order and Dave sorts his gear out under shelter while I go for water and a chat, okay, whisky, with Phil. 

It's cold outside, and the rain really is hammering down as I cook our dinners. I think to myself that this really is a very bad idea...

Then, miraculously, just as we finish, the sun comes out! It's great when a plan comes together!

DAVID - A BRAVE SMILE

We stroll over to another cluster of shelters to find a complete parcel of rogues:

PHIL'S PICTURE: PETER, LOUISE, JAYME & LYNSEY. CLICK TO ENLARGE

CARL, COLIN & PHIL. CLICK TO ENLARGE

And so Jayme has dreamed up 'Cocktails and Puddings' - a replacement for the Cheese & Wine Party next year. Quite wonderful!

DAVE: RASPBERRY PAVLOVA! YES, HONESTLY! A PERFECT MERINGUE TOO! CLICK TO ENLARGE

DAY TWELVE

This isn't a big day, but it still needs to be walked. We're not the last away, which is a surprise, and we take our slow and steady plod up Mount Keen. This is not a difficult hill from whichever way you approach, but whenever I've been here it's always been incredibly cold and incredibly windy. Today is no exception. We're in all the clothes we can muster.

MOUNT KEEN. CLICK TO ENLARGE

DAVID & PHIL. CLICK TO ENLARGE

Fierce showers are blowing through on heavy cold winds and so we're now in overtrousers as well. There's the occasional handful of hail thrown in for good measure to grit-blast pinched cheeks. And what's this? Ah. Snow. At a thousand miles an hour. Character forming stuff.

PHIL. CLICK TO ENLARGE

Dave is obviously far fitter than us and is a mere dot on the horizon and reaches the trig point weeks before us.

PHIL HOLDING ON TO THE TRIG POINT FOR DEAR LIFE IN THE FIERCE WIND. CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE: ME, MOUNT KEEN TRIG POINT.    C/O PHIL

CLICK TO ENLARGE: DAVE IN THE SHELTER AT THE TOP - HE'S BEEN HERE AGES!

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL & DAVE HEADING DOWN

DAVE SNAPS A RARE PICTURE OF BOTH ME & PHIL

I love this next picture of Phil & Dave leading the way down into the valley with the back end of a fierce stormlet racing away ahead of us.

CLICK TO ENLARGE.

At this point Dave is a man on a mission and is haring off ahead. He's seen someone in front that he's going to catch. I wonder if it's a genetic thing?

Phil and I arrive at the Queen's Well. We can see Dave about five hundred yards ahead. Phil breaks out his 'Thunderer' whistle to attract his attention. It is deafening. But nothing. no response. Dave disappears, stretching away into beyond. 

Phil & I sit to have a relaxing lunch, using the crown as a backrest and wind break. Two minutes later and we notice huge black clouds and a wall of death sweeping down the glen - straight at us. We pack up in a dreadful rush, sandwiches and pies barely chewed! In a sweaty panic we have our rucsacks, waterproofs and boots all back on, only to see the wall of death pass by us, just yards away, and we are completely untouched. Quite extraordinary!

THE QUEEN'S WELL   C/O PHIL.  CLICK TO ENLARGE

Just before the road we find Dave sat beneath the trees, seemingly none the worse for his abandonment. He had caught the hares and had walked with them until he thought he ought to wait for the old boys. It's now just a simple stroll down the road, and over the footpath to Tarfside, and we arrive more or less exactly when Debs expects us.

She takes our picture at St Drostans before we all pile in for a cup of tea.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Dave & Deb leave us and drive off in their super-smart VW motorhome, to a more salubrious overnight spot, their mission accomplished. 

Phil & I flip the tents up on the playing field and head out for a few beers at the Masons' Arms.

I THINK I NICKED THIS PICTURE FROM ANDY WALKER.

My brother David did incredibly well to manage this; Only a few weeks earlier he had been in a lot of pain and had been peeing blood. I really don't know how I can more grateful than I already am to this incredible man, but I am. 

I owe him everything. 

TGO Challenge 2015, Pt VII: Magnificent Monadh Liath

The Monadh Liath: A first glance at a map of Scotland suggests there's not much here; It's an empty place. There are few Munros, fewer Corbetts, not many soaring crags; Most guidebooks give this place a miss. I have walked the length of Scotland just once, and the breadth of Scotland twenty two times, and I know of very few places more precious to me than these fabulous hills.  

*****

We rejoin our walk on the afternoon of the fifth day. We're the Tail End Charlies of the Challenge today, and having taken the second boat across Loch Ness we now trundle along minor roads, with hail and showers rattling through on strong westerlies. Occasional sunlight blasts through tears in ragged clouds which for brief moments warms our chilled hands. We climb steadily, up a long Rover Road to a very new Estate shooters cabin, and fall inside to be out of the wind.

PHIL'S PIC OF A RATHER POSH SHOOTING CABIN. CLICK TO ENLARGE

RATHER SPLENDID MONADH LIATH SCENERY. CLICK TO ENLARGE

SMART SHOOTING CABIN ROGUES GALLERY. CLOCKWISE AROUND TABLE, FROM LEFT: PHIL, JAYME, [AND NO. I DON'T KNOW WHY HIS KNICKERS ARE ON DISPLAY] PETER, LINDY, BARRY, BROTHERS PETER & ROGER, AND GORDIE. CLICK FOR THE FULL HORROR.

It's great to be out of the hard, cold wind and soon stoves are hissing, brews brewing and snacks are snacked. Lindy has decided to stay, and there are a few waverers being won over to keep her company by the stove-side. One by one, our company dwindles, disappearing forever once the door closes behind them. 

The last time I was at this place I had a particularly nasty bout of food poisoning that was rife on the Challenge that year and Phil had to almost drag me through the bogs to Glen Mazeran. This year, however I am in rude health and up for it. Barry decides to join us, persuaded I think, that we had been this way before and know a route avoiding the worst of the gloopy bogs. And indeed, we miss the devils, and take a route up the side of a burn to the hilltop.

LOOKING BACK - WE AVOIDED THAT GLOOPY BOG, BY DINT OF GHASTLY PAST EXPERIENCE AND ACE NAVIGATION (AHEM)

At the top the going is wonderful and there is a fabulous view of the Monadh Liath stretching away to forever ahead of us: For me, this next picture encapsulates the Monadh Liath.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: THE WAY AHEAD ~ THE MAGNIFICENT MONADH LIADH

This is the weather; This is backpacking at its best. Ragged wet clouds ripping overhead, the wind rattling your overtrousers, the cold pinching at your fingers. The exhilaration.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL, ON TOP OF THE WORLD

THIS PICTURE DOESN'T DO JUSTICE TO THE INCREDIBLE WIND & COLD. CLICK TO ENLARGE

EASY GOING ON MONADH LIATH TOPS. CLICK TO ENLARGE

BARRY, HEADING DOWN TO GLEN MAZERAN

EVERY NOW AND THEN NATURE PRODUCES A BIT OF MAGIC. CLICK TO ENLARGE

Nature puts on a light show to complete our joy. It's fabulous walking, down and down, and down, seemingly forever, until we hit an extended estate track which makes for easy, if somewhat more mundane progress.

PHIL'S PICTURE WITH CLUTTER IN THE FOREGROUND

CLICK TO ENLARGE: FABULOUS WALKING WEATHER. NO ONE CLUTTERING UP THE VIEW

Our shadows are lengthening as we find a perfect camp-spot, tucked secretly in the bend of the caochan, beneath a heavy snowbank and wonderful  flaring sunlight. 

CLICK TO ENLARGE: A MAGNIFICENT WILD CAMP HIGH UP IN GLEN MAZERAN. WITH BARRY CENTRE SHOT

This, really, is as good as it gets. Seemingly miles from anywhere, high up in the hills, sunshine blasting between torn black clouds, the wind whistling overhead as flasks are passed between us, warming our lungs.

Try the Monadh Liath. There's nothing there, but happiness. 

TGO Challenge 2015, VI: Sprinting out of the blocks?

DAY ONE:

Miss Whiplash telephones Phil in the morning. She's anxious to catch us before we depart into the wilds.

"Phil! I just had to let you know: Ed Davey has lost his seat!"

Whooping with joy, that this mad fuckwit has got his comeuppance ~ so there is now a chance to rid Scotland of the threat of more wind turbines ~ the condemned men eat a hearty breakfast. We eat until we can eat no more. In fact, I need a lie down. And one more cup of coffee. Okay - I'll have another round of toast as well. Pass the marmalade. Ta.

Look at the picture below: What a wonderful day! The Conservatives have quite unexpectedly spanked Labour in yesterday's General Election and Alec Salmond is not going to be "King-maker;" in fact he's going to have no power whatsoever! Glory Be! And the sun is beating down outside! All is well with our world.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: VIEW OF RATAGAN FROM KINTAIL LODGE HOTEL

We stagger downstairs under the weight of rucsacks with four days of food on board, pay the bill and sign the Register to show that we have started the 2015 TGO Challenge. But everyone seems to have already signed and gone! They must have sprung from their blocks like sprinters in a hundred yard dash! 

We stroll down to the Atlantic Ocean. If you look carefully at the next picture, you can witness the gigantic waves smashing with foam and fury onto the beach. I have a safety-line at the ready in case Phil is washed out to sea.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: LORD ELPUS, SHIEL BRIDGE

It has taken us a couple of days to get to Shiel Bridge, most of it fast asleep in our bunks on the Sleeper from Euston and with some gentle snoozing on the morning bus from Inverness. However, It is now time to gently stretch the sinews and ease ourselves into our holiday. The morning's walk looks like this:

CLICK TO ENLARGE: THE MORNING'S WALK TO THE WATERSHED

It's a six mile wander up Gleann Lichd to the house, for a rest and a bite to eat, and then a gentle pull up to the watershed for a late lunch. But this is not any old watershed. No Sir! It is Scotland's Bloody Great Big Watershed! In the morning, all the water we encounter will be heading off west, to the Wild Atlantic. Yet, in the afternoon, any water we find will be heading in the same general direction as us ~ East, to the North Sea. Hereabouts, the watershed is incredibly close to the coast! 

Stick with us kid. Watch and learn.

*****

So we saunter off, our start on this year's adventure a barely imperceptible turn to the north as we take the old coast road, avoiding the busy road while we still can. Good Lord! As soon as we reach the main road we are assailed by swarms (oh - apparently I can't use "swarms" as the Thought Police deem it a derogatory term. Guardianistas link the word to animals...) of the Great Unwashed, otherwise known as our fellow Challengers. The thing is, they are all sparkly clean ~ ie, unrecognisable ~ and it is only when one chap is passing us going the other way (in the 'wrong' direction) that I realise I didn't say 'Hello' to Richard Flint. Sorry Rich!

We find ourselves bowling along, all too quickly, I might add, with all manner of lovely clean people, all intent on walking, lemming-like, to the east coast.

And at this furious pace, we reach our first refuelling stop. Back in 1999 Miss Whiplash had walked the Challenge with us. I might still have the crumpled old Black & White photo of her in my wallet somewhere. For old time's sake, Phil takes up a similar pose as his wife had done some sixteen years earlier, but with slightly less leg on show.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: MR LAMBERT 2015

What's this? I've found it, and given it a good ironing. 

CLICK TO ENLARGE: MRS LAMBERT 1999 "THE ESSO SIGN MEANS HAPPY MOTORING..."

Still plagued by herds of Challengers, we pass by Morvich campsite and peel off left, joined by Mike, to sit in the sunshine licking cooling ice-creams and generally peeling off layers of clothing. Mike knows his way around Scotland - this is his tenth TGO Challenge; He knows the value of a steady start. Never pass a tea shop. Never refuse an ice-cream.

Another visit to the last porcelain for four days, and now we amble slowly on our way. Well, Phil & I amble, but Mike has legs up to his armpits and finds it difficult to keep down to our pace and eventually leaves us.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: MIKE STRIDES OUT.

I'll let the pictures do the talking for a while. I'll catch up with you later. 

CLICK TO ENLARGE: GLEANN LICHD

CLICK TO ENLARGE (QUITE WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO DEFEATS ME!) A GENERAL VIEW OF PHIL'S GINORMOUS RUCKSACK

CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL'S PICTURE, BALCONY PATH, COIRE GRANNDA

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL, LEISURELY SAUNTERING

CLICK TO ENLARGE: THERE'LL BE CHALLENGERS UP THERE

Yes. There were a few Challengers up there in the snow, having a jolly time! 

CLICK TO ENLARGE: NOT YET AT THE WATERSHED

We played tag with brothers Roger and Peter for most of the day. You'll see them in quite a few of today's pictures. Lovely smiley blokes.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: THAT'S THE WATERSHED AHEAD

CLICK TO ENLARGE: SITTING ASTRIDE THE WATERSHED

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL, SHOWING THE WORLD SOME LEG

CLICK TO ENLARGE: SO IT HADN'T BEEN THE WATERSHED AFTER ALL!

CLICK TO ENLARGE: YES! I WAS AT THE WATERSHED! HONEST!

After eventually crossing the watershed, we had a celebratory picnic. It will be another year before we can do this again. The day is wonderful and neither of us is wheezing like an old horse. I ask Phil if we have Miss Whiplash to thank for our tip-top condition. He mumbles something through a mouthful of petits fours that I can't quite make out as his face turns purple.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: IT'S ALL DOWNHILL IN THE AFTERNOON

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL, CAMBAN BOTHY

We stop for a brew in Camban, which has had a significant make-over since our last visit sixteen years ago. The central in-house drainage ditch has been filled. There are now sleeping platforms and rooflights. The large boulders that were the chairs have been pinched. You have to nail stuff down these days.

I try to make inroads on my enormous food bag. I'm now a cuppa soup lighter. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

CLICK TO ENLARGE: RUIN, FIONNGLEANN. THE BUILDING ISN'T LOOKING TOO GOOD EITHER

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL'S PICTURE - LOOKING BACK TO CAMBAN

Make mental note. Never have my photo taken wearing that hat. Or contre-jour. And not stoney-faced. In fact, Just Don't.

And so we stroll down to Alltbeithe Youth Hostel. The place is heaving with sun-kissed Challengers. Parking my car in the dustbins I recall Police Squad!

"My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad. There'd been a recent wave of gorgeous fashion models found naked and unconscious in laundromats on the West Side. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate holdups of neighborhood credit unions. I was across town doing my laundry when I got the call on the double killing. It took me twenty minutes to get there. My boss was already on the scene."

We sidle into the sun-soaked kitchen-diner, park our behinds on some comfy chairs and prepare for a snooze. Just about to nod in the warm and friendly fug when we're told there is tea! And cake! And more cake! The lovely (Dutch?) Youth Hostel Warden has been busy baking. We are in ecstasy. After an hour or so of slothful happiness, we stir our stumps, slip on our boots, retie our laces, and head off into the Great Outdoors. Phil nips back for his rucsack, and we set off once again

THE BESTEST YOUTH HOSTEL WARDEN, EVER! GLEN AFFRIC YH.

It's now early evening and strolling down the track is a delight. With about a mile to go we realise with horror that some blighters have pinched our proposed  camp-spot! This will not do! We can see them, plain as a pike-staff, cavorting about on OUR camp site! We take a good Paddington Bear-like stare at the map. There's nothing for it. We'll have to stay here. 

CLICK TO ENLARGE: EARLY EVENING, GLEN AFFRIC

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PERFECTLY PITCHED

CLICK TO ENLARGE: PHIL WATCHING 'CORRIE'' ON HIS SATMUPPET.

Dinner, a few snifters and Phil catches up with this evening's Coronation Street on his SatMuppet GPS Gadget thingy. 

A quiet word to any aspiring Challengers. THIS is how your first day should be spent. Take it easy. It's not a race. Ease yourself in to the walk with treats and fancies.

And remember the names of the bastards who pinch your camping spots.