After walking the entire length of the platform at Kings Cross, I realised my brand new micro-fibre knickers were rapidly sliding downwards to the crotch of my trousers. Only a week earlier I had finally admitted to myself that perhaps I no longer owned the sylph-like 34" waist of the past thirty years and had sadly admitted to a plump 36". And so the order was placed.
Well, that went well.
We piled out of Phil's war machine at Long Preston and I was sold two pairs of the correct size of Very Technical Knickers, silver lined and stretchy to hug my new-found petit derriere and various redundant accoutrements by the awfully nice people at Rohan. Whilst this expensive transaction was taking place, Phil, Andy & Mick - aka Lord Elpus, Mad'n'Bad and Croydon - were taking tea just over the road, served by equally friendly staff.
NB: You can click on any of the photos and they will blow up to a droolingly lustful size.
CROYDON, LORD ELPUS & MAD'N'BAD TAKING TEA
Arriving at Baysbrown campsite in Great Langdale we found that the Advance Party - the VeryVeryNiceMan, the Commander and the Doc - had not pitched our lodgings. Slightly miffed by this lack of thought, we set to and within the matter of a moment soon had a place to stay.
THE DOCTOR
MAD'N'BAD
DOC & LORD ELPUS, WITH LANGDALE PIKES BACKDROP
After a deal of scratching around we found two responsible adults to convey us to the Britannia Inn in Elterwater, a favourite watering hole, for dinner.
A CHILLY START: CROYDON'S WENDY HOUSE
EMMA'S PHOTO SHOWS JUST HOW COLD IT WAS IN THE MORNING: CLICK TO ENLARGE
Trepidation; there's a thing. Since walking in to the Park Hotel in Montrose last May at the end of my TGO Challenge I have not once set out for a walk. No three miles a day. Nothing. Virtually everything in my brand new rucksack is new this year, the old stuff having been totally worn out, and all of the new seemed to be ever so slightly heavier than the replaced kit.
But this was a Decent Daunder and David had put in a nice easy start to Little Langdale. Some stayed at the cafe for lunch whilst others pressed on to find the Three Shires Inn, a couple of pints and sandwiches. It wouldn't be a proper PWD if there were no schisms.
LORD E.
THE VVNM & THE DOC
DOC
CALL ME "'MA'AM"
CRINKLE CRAGS & BOWFELL, & EMMA
LORD ELPUS
PITCHED ABOVE RED TARN
PONDERING THE MEANING OF LIFE
Mr Walker is a fine fellow who positively enjoys hurling his ageing frame up mountains, that could so easily be bypassed by more sensible fellows. He had left us to fling himself up onto Pike o' Blisco and the blighter was still at Red Tarn before the main party. And he wonders why his knees are shot...
ANDY, EMMA & PHIL
However, this feat of athleticism was not enough for the old bird, and he gamely escorted the Doc back up to the top again. Mad'n'Bad. Well, mad certainly.
EMMA
MAD'N'LOVELY, REALLY
A GRIZZLED OLD-TIMER
Another night of well below zero and ice-plastered tents preceded a cracking second day. It's a tricky descent with heavy packs into Great Langdale and once gained the Daunderers split into two parties; one heading for the heights of the Pikes, the other heading first to the Old Dungeon Ghyll Hotel for a Cumberland Sausage, mash, carrots and gravy, washed down with a couple of pints and coffee.
THE SUMMITEER PARTY
OLDER & WISE
HMM. JUST OLDER.
CROYDON SPOTS A SHAPELY ANKLE
THE START OF SO MANY ADVENTURES
TACKLING THE PIKES, DIRECT
After taking decent breaks, Croydon, Lord E and I finally made the top of the climb and gambolled, some more gambolly than others, down to Codale Tarn where the Summiteers had found a suitable spot well above the riff-raff that was to appear later.
EMMA CRITIQUES ANDY'S TEENY PEE-POT
DUSK
Yes. Another well-below zero night. Because we're hard.
DAWN
The VVNMan had surpassed himself this morning. The route down Blea Rigg is quite charming. This was a busy Half Term yet we only met a handful of walkers all morning. The ground's interesting and the views extensive. Well worth another visit.
L>R: DAVID, EMMA, MICK, JUDITH, ANDY & PHIL
AS BEFORE BUT I'M IN EMMA'S SPOT. EMMA'S PHOTO, OBVIOUSLY
JUDITH
MICK
HARRISON'S STICKLE & PAVEY ARK
EMMA, SMILING AS ITS NEARLY OVER
ARTY PHIL
By this point, the VeryVeryNiceMan made his excuses and left for a dinner date with a gorgeous girl, apparently. Judith & Emma weren't put out in the slightest. Honestly.
PHIL ADDRESSING HIS CHARGES
Having taken command of the Daunder in David's absence, Phil then scuttles off, never to be seen again until the cafe in Chapel Stile. Obviously a born leader, giving his platoon some decent headroom.
Fortunately, Judith took the reins and shepherded her flock back down to safety in Chapel Stile.
A LIVING HERDWICK
CHAPEL STILE
COMMANDER BENCHMARK
EMMA, SHOCKED WE ALL MADE IT BACK
ASK HIM WHAT HIS DAD DOES FOR A JOB. I DARE YOU.
A round of applause to David for organising the route, dinner, and herding the cats so they all turned up on time. An excellent job. Another vote of thanks to Phil for all the driving to the Lakes and back to Grantham.
And lastly, heartfelt thanks to all the Daunderers themselves, who make this event such a joy. Life is full of vibrant colours and happiness when you're amongst their company.
Now then - there's the small matter of a walk across Scotland in a few weeks time. Will we be ready? Probably not, but I'm sure it will all turn out OK.
And finally, in the spirit of Old Mortality, here's some music.
