It seems an awfully long time ago that I sat down to write about my Dad's passing, in this post: A tribute to our Dad but time marches on at breakneck speed. Last year, we lost our Mum. I don't know why, but it affected me far more than I had expected. I suppose when Dad died I was at the top of my game, in rude health and seemingly indestructible. Time's a funny thing.
I'm massively grateful that my brother Gwyn and sister Megan stepped in and made all the arrangements for the funeral - a day that went wonderfully. My sisters Hilary & Christine sorted out the legal stuff. There was no way I could have coped with that. A huge thank you to them both.
Gwyn wrote and read out a lovely eulogy at the funeral. I have copied it out below.
*****
 |
| MELBA ISOBEL SLOMAN: 1925 - 2018 |
Mum was born in Cardiff. She was the second child to my Grandparents, Edgar and Mabel Waters. She had one sister Vera. Grandad worked at the docks just around the time of the depression; she often recalled the times that she used to go down the docks with her Dad to see if he could get work, often to be turned away. It was the early building blocks of a very tough determined person.
She was always a bit of a tomboy, preferring
to climb lampposts and play with the boys than dolls.
Vera then
married and went on to have four children of her own.
War came and Mum was now working at Burroughs in Cardiff. She also did voluntary work for
the Church Army.
War was over
and mum met Dad at a dance in City Hall, Cardiff. Their first dance was “In the
mood” by Glen Miller. Romance blossomed. Dad trained as a teacher and they
married in 1949. Dad took a job at a
school in Birmingham and within ten months, Hilary was born. Christine followed three years later. In 1955 Mum and Dad moved to Bracknell after Dad took a job at
Wick Hill School, later to become Garth. Alan, David myself and Megan all
appeared at two year intervals. By now we were at 54 Anneforde Place.
It must have been tough; Mum didn’t work but
stayed at home bringing up the family. She was fiercely proud and always
managed to feed and clothe us. We loved her to bits. You could never pull the
wool over her eyes and if we weren’t behaving, she gave us a look. We knew then
that we were in trouble. This was even witnessed by Nik one of her grandsons when
he stayed with Mum and Dad some years later.
We had long
summer holidays and mum and Dad discovered camping! Two adults and six children in one
tent. A lasting memory is of Mum cooking a meal for 8 on a 2-ring camping Gas
stove.
Mum had a
great sense of humour. She must have had - she read our school reports. Around 1966
Mum re entered the workplace as a part time playground assistant at Sandy Lane
Infants.
An abiding
memory of life in Anneforde Place was the weekly visit of the Toni Bell Ice-cream
man. Mum had learned that it was cheaper to to fill up a basin rather than buy
several cones.
Are you the
man who does it in the basin?
How much would
you like?”
How much
can you manage?
The innuendo was lost on us at this age.
In the early
1970s Mum took up the post of Lower School Secretary at Garth Hill. It was a
husband and wife team - Dad in one office, Mum in the next and they both
remained there until they retired in 1985. It is a testament to their marriage
that living and working with each other 24/7 that in the entire time, they
never appeared to have a cross word or major falling out. If they did it was
behind closed doors.
They loved
each and everyone of their family. There appeared to be frequent visits to and
from various aunts, uncles and cousins.
Sadly, Mum's sister
Vera passed away in the early 80’s. Mum was deeply upset by this. Dig,
Ol, Vera, Gil and Ken followed. This left Mum and Dad as the last of their
generation.
I keep mentioning
Dad, but it is impossible to mention one without the other. They were a team.
After retirement, they threw themselves into the Bracknell Active Retirement Association.
They made many new friends went on numerous foreign trips and events. They loved
retirement and all of a sudden they had a new-found lease of life.
Family was
everything to Mum, the subsequent arrival of ten grandchildren ( Sarah the eldest
cant be with us today as she is in the States looking after her own family) Mary,
Nik, Oliver, Felix, Tom, Emily, Jack, Matthew, Rachael and a step grandchild
Rachael. You are all old enough to have known Granny when she had good health.
Treasure those memories and do not let them fade. Several great grandchildren,
Ben Dan, Lyra, Elsie, Magnus, Ezra, Luca, Edie and Mabel. A Fantastic
legacy.
Dad became
ill and after a long illness died in 2006. Mum stayed in Anneforde Place. Now she was
alone. Luckily Hilary and Christine were on hand but her
health started to fail.
Hilary had
to visit the States for thee months in July 2009 for the impending birth of Dan
and Ben. It was decided that Mum should go into a care home for three months
while Hilary was away. So began
the last chapter of Mum's life. She was now at Doveridge Care Home.
She never
returned to “54”.
Over the
next few years her health gradually faded. A few weeks
ago her health notably declined and she gave up her fight a couple of weeks or
so ago.
Mum was not
perfect, no one is, but she had tremendous qualities.
Now, Mum and
Dad are together again. We all have our memories of her, never let them go.
To sum her
up in a few words is difficult but I think Christine has done it better
than anyone….
She never
complained. She was stoic and strong and loved her
husband, children and all her wider family.
We will all
miss her.
Thanks Mum.
*****
