DAY 58: Hen Hole to Cessford Castle

Friday 27th April (Posted Saturday)
Today: 14.3 miles
Total so far: 840.9 miles
Percentage Completed: 50.4%

(Click map to enlarge)

The sun was late showing itself over the hills into the Henhole and so we were away at a modest Nine o'clock; not bad for a group of five, and the first stop for the day was the emergency shelter above us on the saddle, where Morpeth duly noted our passing in the log book.

We chose the High Level finish to the Pennine Way because, as Croydon would put it, "We're 'Ard!" It has to be said, the last hill is a bit of a pig, but the views over the borders are sensational, so it was worth it.

I like the Cheviots; admittedly we saw them at their best - in good weather, if a bit on the cold side. I can imagine them to be a struggle in poor weather, but the sun shines on the ...etc etc. They are a wonderfully shapely range of hills, with interlocking spurs and steep sided valleys and views in the late afternoon sun that force you to stop and take time to let it all soak in.

As we bounced down the last hill to the road, we were met at the bottom by Humph Weightman, one of Phil's daundering dwarves. He declined the offer to walk with us to the Border Hotel and drove his car to meet us, for me to collect my 'stifkit' and free half pint - well deserved - if I say it myself!

We all then ambled over to Town Yetholm to partake in the butcher’s pies and wash them down with another couple of pints of the good stuff.

Then Di Morpeth bundled all my friends into her car to take them away home for baths with fluffy hot towels, as I trudged away onwards to Morebattle. There was no room at the inn at Morebattle, so after a stingily small sausage baguette (make a note everyone - their food is terrible!)

I strolled on to fly camp at Cessford Castle in the long grass at about 8:30pm. Cessford Castle is a wonderfully atmospheric spot with Ravens and the inevitable ghosts of the past conflicts for company. Interestingly, on the way there I actually fell asleep while walking along the road – coming to as I stumbled into the grass verge.

DAY 57 Byrness Campsite to Hen Hole

Today: 19 miles
Total so far: 826.6 miles
Percentage Completed: 49.5%

(Click map to enlarge)

Its a brutal start up the hill into the Cheviots from the Main Road, so we put it off as long as possible by taking on supplies of Bacon Butties and coffee, to ease any nagging doubts concerning fitness after last nights splendid, very late night with Ian.

The weather was very kind to us and we had excellent views all day. Possibly the best bit, depending upon your viewpoint, was seeing Morpeth disappear up to his thighs in bog.

We made slow but steady progress to the first emergency shelter for a late lunch and worked our way deliberately to Windy Gyle and and Auchope Cairn for fabulous views over the Cheviots and the Borders. By this time it was getting very cold, so we dropped down into the Hen Hole to camp.

(Morpeth, Doug & Croydon on Raven's Knowe, the Cheviots)

Everyone was bedded down quickly after a hard day. As I lay in my tent going to sleep I remembered my first try at the Cheviots with my brother with the hair thirty seven years ago and the awful slog it had been. Now it is slabbed in the worst spots and so it is just a question of fitness and stamina.

Today had been fabulous for me - I had felt super fit and had raced up the hills - the first time on the entire walk that I can honestly say I am finally firing on all eight cylinders!

(Looking north from The Schil, early evening, The Cheviots)

DAY 56: Bellingham to Byrness Campsite

Today: 14.7 miles
Total so far: 807.6 miles
Percentage Completed: 48.4%

(Click map to enlarge)

I am writing this gone 8:00pm at Ian's Picnic table at the campsite at Byrness. We have seen off Green King IPA export, Arran Gold, and another (sorry cannot remember) brought over by Mr Shiel. He then set a repast of cold meats, pies, salads and breads, all to be washed down with Ardbeg.

Today I have been walking with Doug, Mike, Croydon and Morpeth, and the walking has been good, over wild empty spaces and into the forest, that was cleared recently so all afternoon we had excellent views of tomorrow's walk over the Cheviots.

(Flowering Lichen -Growing on a stone wall after a vicious little ascent ( I was leaning against the wall to get my breath back!)

It seems to be warming up as the Ardbeg is flowing (in Edinburgh Crystal glasses, I'll have you know!) and just the two coats are fine. This is a wonderful eclectic little band, who rub along with one common love, the Great Outdoors. All will be on this year's Challenge in a few week's time - and barring disasters, all will be at Montrose at the finish, despite a huge list of ailments borne between them all. It's a mental thing, and this lot have the right qualifications!

DAY 55 Greenhead to Bellingham

Tuesday 24th April - posted Wednesday 25th
Today: 21.0 miles
Total so Far: 792.9 miles
Percentage Completed: 47.5%

(Click map to enlarge)

An early start from a cold, cold hostel at Greenhead. The washed underwear and woolly socks were still sopping wet, so stowed in the dirty clothes bag to add a few more ounces to the load.

Bob Garnett, a Challenger, met me last night at the pub and so we walked together along the switchback of Hadrian’s Wall - a complete beast of a walk in terms of effort and an absolute joy in terms of reward.

(Hadrians Wall)

As we rested at the point we left the wall, Bob produced a bottle of Newcastle Brown and lunch was taken, followed by a few nips of the good stuff.

The walk away from the wall was pure pleasure; soft underfoot, with wonderful views back to the Wall and big empty skies, occasionally split apart by HM Forces Jet Fighters. The wooded stretches were calming and soft on the senses, the moorland wild and empty.

We passed a Bonsai factory and then almost immediately afterwards bumped into a Ruth Archer character who was carrying a Harris Hawk - a beautiful animal with eyes that appear to see forever.

Walking up after Warks Burn (“staggering”, that should read) we bumped into Doug Cockburn sitting on a wall, on point, with his troup of Croydon, Morpeth and Mike Illingworth, slouching reluctantly behind.

Bless them; they had hiked all the way southwards from Bellingham (pronounced BellingJUM), so we stopped to sample a fine bottle of red that the magnificent Bob had carried all the way, followed by the remainder of his scotch.

(Left to Right: Bob, Doug, Morpeth, Croydon and Mike)

We scampered the rest of the way up over the amusingly named Shitlington Crags and then dropped down into town to sample deep baths and the cod in the Cheviot Hotel, with a few pints of Nels.

A big day; done!

DAY 54: Alston to Greenhead: Evening Report

Today: 16.4 miles
Total so far: 771.9 miles
Percentage Completed: 46.2%

(Click map to enlarge)

GUEST SPOT: Charlie - LEJOGer:

My god, what a day! Was very exited to meet Alan in Dufton as I've managed to get across the majority of England without meeting any other end to enders, and besides it was nice to meet someone who can drink almost as much real ale as I can.

We left Alston at the same time this morning, so it seemed sensible to walk together, especially as we'd both come to the conclusion that cheating slightly and following the South Tyne Way, rather than the Pennine way proper this morning was the best way forward. After the mist and rain of Cross Fell, the South Tyne which follows a nice little narrow gauge railway was a breath of fresh air, but after a few lunchtime pints it was time to go back to the Pennine Way and start a long slog through muddy farmland and an amusing amount of pure unadulterated bog.

A lot of the swampiest parts of the Pennine Way have had limestone slabs placed along them, but they didn't bother with this bit, and in the pouring rain and biting wind, this wasn't the most pleasant part of the journey so far. I was very pleased to have Alan along, as it meant I could stick my head down and follow his boots as we slogged across country.

Still, Greenhead has a very nice pub which called to us across the moor and we're both now warm, dry and slightly less smelly than we were. I just pity him tomorrow going all the way to Bellingham, while I do the short haul to Once Brewed.

DAY 54: Lunchtime Report

DAY 54: Alston to Greenhead
Lunchtime Report: Kirkstyle Inn, Knarsdale

Made it in time for a few pints of Geltsdale Hell Beck - a lovely dark red beer. I have arrived at this pleasant location just as a little shower came in from behind me - perfect timing.

I am being a train this morning; following the South Tyne Trail rather than the Pennine Way - which the National Trail guide freely admits is pretty boring. The old railway line eases the bones after yesterday's jolts down the long stoney road from Gregs Hut (that I missed)

I spent a bit of time with my GPS this morning, to see how I got in such a mess yesterday lunchtime off Cross Fell. My GPS is telling me I am 500m further north than I actually am, yet is spot on with the East/West location and altitude. Answers on a postcard? Its the first time I used the Bl***y thing on this walk and that 500m error caused me no end of problems!

Answers on a postcard please as to why it is doing this! A Crackerjack Pencil to someone who can help me sort the thing out, or it is being stamped on and being sent back to Garmin! (They can have a cabbage)

Charlie (the surprise Lejogger I met at Dufton) is walking with me just for today before we go our seperate ways - We have also just heard from the landlord that there is another Lejogger (Very Fit Bloke) who is a couple of days ahead of me. I doubt whether I will catch him!

Dufton Aside

John Hee again......

Alan's far too humble to mention his increasing following, so I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Mostly.


They'll be more of this set of pictures.
Soon.
Unless a certain large charitable donation doesn't appear as promised. Ahem.


It's no use hiding behind that pack. We know a Naked Rambler when we see one.




Fame at last - as a centrefold.

DAY 53: Dufton to Alston

Today: 20.0 miles
Total so far 755.5 miles
Percentage completed: 45.2%

(Click map to enlarge)

Yesterday's day off was lovely - a day with Lynnie, sort of doing nothing (apart from meeting the Press for the Backpacker's Club to have a bit of a photo shoot - move over Daniella Westbrook: Male model coming through!)

Then lo & behold in the evening in the Stag at Dufton, we bumped into Bryan Crick (one of the Backpackers Club Lejoggers) and his wife. I had read Bryan’s book of his adventure before starting out on all this madness.

They in turn then introduced us to a lady, sitting all alone in the corner of the pub, who - wait for it - is actually doing her own LEJOG and had started out from Land's end a day after me!

Her name is Charlie - and she is going well.

I set off this morning and within three quarters of an hour was walking in cloud up Knock Fell, but my navigation was magnificent (not difficult as you follow the cairns...) However, coming off Cross Fell was a different matter. Let's just leave it as I was “navigationally challenged” for about an hour (slithering around on 45 degree running bog beneath scree slopes) and never finding Greg's Hut at all!

Eventually I sorted myself out - it was either that or spending the night on the hill. I spent six and a half hours walking in the clouds seeing no further than 20m. I finally made it down to Garrigill and stopped for a breather at the pretty little seat wrapped round the tree on the village green and noticed that the pub was open.

I didn't go in - I still had 4 miles to go to Alston - and if I had entered those hallowed portals I would still be there now.

I am in the privatised YHA at Alston - this is a Hostel that is run properly! The wonderful lady warden offered me a room of my own, an evening meal with a beer and made me welcome. Perhaps this is the way for the YHA to go?

I am just beginning to feel human again. I would love to do Cross Fell on a nice day - I have been there twice now in the last thirty two years and each time it has been grim!

DAY 51: Langdon Beck to Dufton

Today: 12.5 miles
Total so far: 735.5 miles
Percentage Completed: 44.0%

(Click map to enlarge)

I left it until 10am to leave the hostel, as the cloud was down low but likely to improve slightly. I started in very misty moisty weather with two coats on and made careful progress following the pretty good waymarks, which makes a startling change in these parts! It was as well, as visibility was about 100 yards.

Working my way up Holmwath the cloud seemed to lift as I walked up the valley, so by the time I reached Falcon Clints I could see pretty well okay. Cauldron Snout impressed and I picked my way carefully up the slippery rocks to cross the bridge - a slip here would have pretty horrible consequences.

The route up to High Cup Nick is an absolute delight; good paths and a wonderful feeling of remoteness, even though you pass Birkdale Farm (now, there's a place if you want to get away from it all!)

I met a chap with two artificial hips who was getting along pretty well (he got down to Dufton before me, but that's not saying much!) and a couple who were trying out a route for their rambling group from the North Lakes who had just clambered out of the Nick of High Cup.

They were friends of Rowland Bowker, who has done the Challenge quite a few times and so I felt embarrassed in not knowing him - I shall make an effort to find the chap one day - as he has charming friends and so can't be all that bad himself!

The view from the Nick is quite splendid - you can almost see the glacier that carved its way down the valley. The Whinstone dolerite cliffs frame the view from every angle as you walk along the northern rim of the abyss. The scenery changes from wild moorland to pastoral beauty very quickly, with just Dufton Pike to remind you you are in hill country.

I am having my day off in Dufton and not Alston as it is far more sensible for Lynnie who is coming up for the weekend as I get to see her all of Saturday instead of half of Sunday which would have been the case if I had taken it at Alston.

Lynnie is battling her way up the M6 in my car as I type this and I am freshly bathed and handsome once more. How can she resist me?

DAY 50: Deepdale to Langdon Beck Youth Hostel

Thursday 19th April
Deepdale to Langdon Beck YH
(Posted the next day from Dufton)
Today: 17.5 miles
Total so far: 723.0 miles
Percentage completed: 43.3%

(Click map to enlarge)

The wind got up a bit in the night and Wanda Warmlite started to misbehave. She got all jittery and so I snapped in her internal restraints (cross bracing for the large diameter hoop) and things calmed down noticeably. I should also have pegged out the rear guy lines that brace her rear hoop but it was blowing a hooley out there and I was all snug inside so I let her backside wobble a bit!

So it was a bumpy night and when I finally got away in the morning I was slightly bleary-eyed. It was a bit of a trudge passing the reservoirs.

At Hannah Hauxwell’s idyllic meadow I had quite a frightening moment with a farmer's hound that looked like a cross between pit-bull, Rottweiler and Labrador: a leathery brown short haired athletic affair that vaulted the wall where his owner stood ineffectively whistling for the beast to come back to him. The dog ran full tilt straight at me and pulled up at the last moment as I swung my rucksack off my shoulder so I could get a better kick at the animal. It was an incredibly tense few moments. Lots of teeth, muscle and sinew all trying to tear me to shreds.

One tried and missed drop goal attempt later and with me shouting at the beast and its stupid owner, it ran back to the oaf, clearing the wall in one leap. No apology was offered. I have noted down the farm and will be speaking to the RSPCA about it when I return home. That animal was incredibly dangerous and this is a National Trail! His owner should be castrated publicly with a sign hung round his neck saying "I have a tiny dick."

By contrast, Middleton-in-Teesdale was a delightful spot. I arrived in good time to send completed guide books and maps home, buy postcards and arrive at the hotel for a few pints of Pedigree and a cauliflower soup, held firmly in place with ham sandwiches. The company in the bar was friendly and I noted that the accents (to my really bad ear) seemed to be slipping towards Geordie.

I was given the best place to buy pork and beef & gravy pies, which was shut so I settled for the second best pies and the barmaid donated some packets of mustard for my afternoon tea by Low Force. I liked Middleton - it has everything a walker and local could want and sits perfectly in its valley.

Everyone will tell you about the waterfalls and wildlife of the River Tees, but what struck me most was the Whinsill on the south of the river, hugely dominant and magnificent. It is also responsible for the Falls along the river and the quarry further up.

I had the south side of the river all to myself apart from one very rude fat walker who was bowling down a steep narrow section of the path in the opposite direction, poles flailing ineffectually. Now I don't know about you, but when I see a chap laden down with a dirty great rucksack coming up the hill towards me, I always but always move to one side to let the poor soul pass, before I carry on down the hill, grateful that I was going downhill.

Not so for this fat oaf. He bowled down, actually prodding my foot with the sharp end of his ridiculous pole at the end of his podgy arm, and actually bumping me off the track! Again, no apology offered. Incredible. I hope his thighs chafe and he gets lice in all his sweaty crevices.

So - a 'two oafs' day! I think the first two of the entire walk that I can think of! Not bad in 50 days of the trip. I shall try and be calm. It's not good for the blood pressure.

Tonight, I quite amazingly managed to get myself a berth in the Langdon Beck Youth Hostel. The very kind lady at the Middleton Tourist Office booked me in on-line. However, when I arrived here, the warden was quite surprised to see me. He thought he was going to be all alone tonight and seemed to be quite put out that I had arrived to spoil his evening. I showed him the confirmation of booking print-out, and he gave me my room - a compact but bijoux little two bunk room. The shower was good, but the warden did not want to do a meal, so I had one of my freeze-dried jobs. He has not lit the fire, even though he said he would.

The YHA should send their wardens on a B&B landlady hospitality course. The landladies seem to have it right. They always answer their phones, make you feel welcome and go the extra mile to make you almost part of the family.

But, on the positive side, they do serve beer here. Two very nice bottles of organic pale ale so far. I think I might have another, to fortify myself for tomorrow’s endeavours as Lynnie has just told me that the weather for crossing over to Dufton tomorrow looks pretty grim. I arrived here this afternoon in a cold claggy bit of rain that was getting more and more steady. It looks like its here to stay for a while. Ho hum!

No phone signal here this evening and so this will probably get sent from Dufton tomorrow night (If there's a signal there!)

DAY 49: Evening Report

Today: 12.5 miles
Total so far: 705.5 miles
Percentage Completed: 42.2%

(Click on map to enlarge)

I am camped up just to the north of Deepdale Beck, having crossed the A66.

Wanda Warmlite is all snug and everything inside is in its place. Dinner has been chicken with rice washed down with a fine Cap Colombie. The sun is shining through the wall of the tent and all is fine.

The little difficulty I had had with the YHA was on account of it having been closed, but no-one telling BT who still let the phones ring... Ho hum!

Rather than walk down the road ,which had been my original plan, I took to the moor. The walking over Sleightholme Moor is wonderful - springy peaty turf - but I remember the horrors of 30 years ago, walking with my friend Bob Butler, when it was raining and it was a morass. Looking at it now, I think the path used to be on the southern bank of Frumming Beck, but I reckon that after a bit of rain it could still be a nightmare. I am just a lucky chap it has stayed dry for a while.

Bob has also pointed out that last time we passed, like drowned rats, the pub was shut. It is now a fine emporium, but still has Ted Moult's double glazing, including the incredibly tacky front door.

Inside is another matter - a feisty landlady with dogs and baby lambs running around to entertain. The Blacksheep was excellent and so I stayed for a couple of hours. The fire was warm and the company good.

The views today were top drawer: But you do have to like moorland. It's MAMBA country: Miles And Miles of Bugger All.

Outside the Curlews and Peewits are calling, with grouse and surprisingly, the occasional pheasant. It is quite, quite perfect.

DAY 49 Lunchtime Report

DAY 49: Lunchtime Report
Tan Hill Inn: "The Highest Pub in Britain"

The walk up here from Keld is way past every expectation from a cursory perusal of the map. The views slowly open out to encompass Great Shunner Fell to the south, Nine Stndards Rigg off to the west, and I am SURE (honestly) I could make out Cross Fell way to the north; but that could be my wild imaginations.

Yesterday, as I was nearing the top of Great Shunner Fell, the tadpolers told me that an hour or so ahead of me there was a fellow Pennine Wayer taking a break in the shelter, and that he had had a bout of tummy trouble and was quite surprised that he had not met another soul traveling north on the Way. Despite redoubling my efforts, I did not make contact with him, but heard this morning in Keld that a Pennine Way walker had taken quite poorly during the evening and had called out help - and the same policemen I had seen in the morning had located him wandering confused in the village and had hoiked him off to hospital.

Let's all hope he is okay - it must be pretty ghastly being all alone and unwell.

It also turns out that the police prescence in Hardraw had been for quite a violent disorder!

Ah - Just Like Hemingford Abbots...

I am not sure where I shall be stopping tonight - One place had the builders in and the Youth Hostel... you have guessed it - never even answered the phone, and that was ringing about a dozen times. Unbelievable really. No wonder they are in trouble.

DAY 48: Hawes to Keld

DAY 48: Tuesday 17th April
Hawes to Keld (Sent 18th April from Tan Hill Inn)
Today: 12.9 miles
Total so far: 693.0 miles
Percentage Completed: 41.5%

(Click map to enlarge)

Leaving good friends is always hard, and after being looked after royally for four nights I feel sad to be leaving Rick & Lindsey. Nothing was too much trouble for them to make my stop-overs perfect. What with them, Russ, Rachael, Michael & Janet – I am being spoiled rotten!

But the Pennine Way has to be continued and I stride out to Hardraw and pay my two pounds to walk up to the falls. And very pretty they are too. On leaving the Green Dragon, two busfulls of the local constabulary arrive. I make a hasty get-away to the Tea-Room almost next door to review my options.

Perhaps they had spotted me sneaking behind the waterfall? Maybe I had spent too long at the foot of the falls and would be be charged with loitering with a tent? I mull over my escape plan with a coffee and flapjack and decide it is best to leg it into the next valley - there might be immunity there.

I positively dash up Great Shunner Fell and near the top meet an engaging couple with a plastic bag full of water and tadpoles they had rescued from a drying pool to transport to a larger more permanent pool lower down the ridge. The frogs further up in the peat hags are truly massive and keep eyeballing me. Perhaps they knew of my Hardraw misdemeanours?

Luncheon is taken at the top, in the corner of the shelter and as it was getting quite cold it was a rushed affair - not my usual leisurely repast.

After first a boggy then a stony descent, more coffee, cake and beer is consumed at Thwaite and then I press on to a glorious traverse on the steep slopes above the Swale on the way to Keld.

It is strange walking on my own after four days of being with friends, but at the same time there are more moments to just stand and take it all in quietly; watching the cloud shadows race over the opposite fell and stand watching a pair of skylarks chase each other in the sand of the path.

DAY 47: Horton in Ribblesdale to Hawes

Today: 14.0 miles
Total so far: 680.1 miles
Percentage Completed: 40.7%

(Click map to enlarge)

Not a bad day at all. If every day is like this it will be a doddle. I walk it with Rick Smith.

(This is Rick Smith - superstar)

He has a dodgy foot and is trying different sock combinations, but even with his dodgy foot he is a country mile ahead of me as I am still tying my laces. We stroll (at my pace) up the hills into moorland in the mist and the serenity of the place is absolute. We meet D of E groups all having a good time and luncheon at a spot with good views and dramatic cloudscapes. The Ribblehead viaduct is viewed floating in the distance.

As we leave Ten End the way is grassy and little springs bubble at the side of the path. All around the dry-stone walls and field barns make up the patchwork of the landscape, with Great Shunner fell dominating in the distance.

We try a couple of the Black Sheep ales in the pub and write the postcards, which is tricky after the first (Riggwelter, at something like 6%) but easier after the second at a piffling 3.8% as Lindsey joins us to transport us back to paradise at Austwick.

Baths are drawn, wives telephoned and dinners demolished. The washing machine is again working overtime. R & L have been fabulous hosts and Lindsey especially - for going above and beyond and purchasing a tub of vaseline for a chap's delicate little places.

They will drop me off back at Hawes tomorrow morning so I will head off into the great unknown: More of 'The North.' But for now, I will do my level best to help the excellent Rick in his endeavours to polish off the '66 port.

DAY 46: Malham to Horton in Ribblesdale

Today: 15.1 miles
Total so Far: 666.1 miles
Percentage Completed: 39.9%

(Click map to enlarge)

We arrive at Malham on time for Heather (who is walking with Phil, Tini & me) and she arrives promptly as a wonderful woman should. So, we walk up the road, spurning her local advice to walk along the pretty riverside and make it successfully to the cove. Phantasmagorical. (Let's see if Stu Savory's spellchecker catches that one! - Sorry Stu!)

We clamber up to the clints & grikes and take pictures. It is a paradise; a karst landscape beyond your Geography Teacher's Dreams (the capitals are very important here.)

We stroll all day through fine weather albeit with a slight petrochemical haze (thank you for the explanation, Waggy) and have leisurely stops scoffing Rick's sandwiches and having boot-breaks to die for.

(Tini & Heather gorging themselves!)

Heather teaches me about peregrines, wheatears and small owls as we make our way inevitably up Fountains Fell and then to the base of Pen-y-Ghent, where Lord Elpus gallantly accompanies Miss Whiplash down to Horton as Heather leads me gingerly up the two giant steps of the monster.

We arrive at Hilary's Step (sorry, that should read Shirley's Step) (readers of PeeWiglet’s Pennine Way diary will understand this - keep up at the back) and Heather steps through it like a mountain goat and hauls me through - mentally and physically.

(Heather on top of Pen-y-Gent)

It was worth it. There were children, small dogs, parakeets and the occasional pet elephant who had managed it to the top, so my minor triumph felt belittled. I let this huge personal problem pass as I sank the last of Rick's sandwiches and Lindsey's cake, and we made our way down to the Crown (marked as the New Inn on the map)

And now, safely back at Rick & Lindsey’s, the Warres 66 port is going down well, and Lord Elpus is fast asleep on the lazyboy, grinning and dribbling slightly as he recreates Tini’s fantasies of the night before.

Tomorrow is another day....

DAY 45 Rest Day Part 2

DAY 45: Rest Day: 2nd Report

Drinking 73 year old Armagnacs with a Dutchgirl, a Vulcanologist, a leather fetishist, a dapper minor royal, potential bigamist and all round wonderful girl who sands down garden furniture, does cooking, cleaning and all the electrical jobs in the village while her husband to be is choosing bottles from the cellar is an unusual experience.

We talk about Waggy and Michael, and all the people met so far on my walk. The discussion reverts to Waggy at every turn. The man is a living legend: Morris Man, Musician, Piano Rebuilder, Engineer, Collector, Brewer, and All Round Wonderful Man. Raconteur. Michael and Janet are his soul-mates and preserve this British Work Of Art. (The capitals are important here)

Maria leans over my shoulder and reads this to the others (this is a real time blog, after all said and done). Her hot breath on my shoulder.... And Stuart is sitting next to her so this will stop here.

I realise that I am the ony one with a glass in my hand : Admittedly it is a fine glass and the contents are to die for.

It is to slow me down for tomorrow. What the reader is not probably aware of is that these wonderful people are all Challengers; they are all getting on a bit, and know the perils of alcohol, and its efects on the unwary. (Me)

It is early in the evening so I shall carry on to see if they get more beautiful and I get more handsome.

DAY 45: Rest Day, Austwick

DAY 45
Rest Day: Malham (Astwick, actually)

The Velez jacket has been washed and reproofed (I think there was more of me in that jacket before washing it than there was me out of the jacket) and so it is now perfumed and wonderful again.

I have mown Rick & Lindsey's lawns (Note the plural, this is a magnificent place) and commandeered the washing machine and bathroom for twentyfour hours. I have downloaded the entire contents of the PDA and camera onto the laptop for safe-keeping.

Phil, Tini & Rick went for a long walk: Phil carrying full Challenge pack and they came back cherry-red. Brave chaps.

Stuart & Maria Scott have just arrived for Dinner. I last saw them in Devon when they came over to the pub for the evening. The evening is warm, sunny and all the jobs are done for the day. This promises to be a bit of a party! Oo Err! (And a big day tomorrow...)

Miss Whiplash is getting changed and Lord Elpus is looking dapper. Stuart & Maria are impeccable as usual. Rick is in his shorts, but has taken off his Antarctic Wellies.

Sartorial Standards are being observed.

DAY 44: Thornton in Craven to Malham

Today: 10.6 miles
Total so Far: 651.0 miles
Percentage Completed: 39.0%

(Click map to enlarge)

GAGA IN GARGRAVE:

We wandered, lonely as clouds along the Pennine Way, espying hosts of daffodils along the way. The truth was we had had a few more than we had expected in the lunchtime house, as we only had a few miles to do in the afternoon. Two lunches later, and having had Tony Hardman's 15 year old Glenfiddich with our second luncheon we were sprawled on the river bank alongside the River Aire.

Rick had organised to meet us at five at the Lister Arms at Malham, but at five, Waggy, Mike & I were to be found waking from our slumbers on the riverbank - Ratty, Mole & Badger, still miles away from the Wild Wood… Ooh dear! However!

I know it is late. I know I need my bed. I know I need to do my washing, but Rick is pouring 1975 vintage ports and Lindsey is trying to control Rick.

She is a woman of wisdom. Rick is a man of charm and dedication to pleasure. Phil (Lord Elpus) and Tini (Miss Whiplash) have been disporting their debauched intentions, but Rick needs to know the time of Breakfast.

Waggy, by now, will be leaving the Admiral; his squeezebox strapped to his chest. Mike will be wiping down the soot from his greenhouse.

And life goes on. As it should.

Tomorrow is another day.

DAY 44: Lunchtime Report

DAY 44: Thornton to Malham
Lunchtime Report: Mason's Arms, Gargrave

A beautiful saunter this morning beneath watery sunshine, walking over carpets of celandines and closely cropped lush green grass, with the views opening slowly to us as we head for the Mason's Arms. We arrive as the door opens and are welcomed in, boots and all to try the Copper Dragon Ale, a beautiful pale golden, fresh tasting pint.

This is a big day; over ten miles and so we are taking it steadily, we shall pace ourselves and work our way through the landlord's list.

It was a late night last night and so today is the perfect 'post Admiral Lord Rodney' day: Michael says it is a magically situated pub on the right ley-lines. No head aches, no passes. Waggy is talking about his pipework again, so all is well with the world.

DAY 43: Ponden to Thornton in Craven

Today: 11.4 miles
Total so far: 640.4 miles
Percentage Completed: 38.3%

(Click map to enlarge)

A walk with Waggy & Michael always has its pitfalls. Today's were Michael & Waggy: Lovely boys but nightmares! We walked over Ickonshore Moor & I learned about the benefits of 1 inch and three-quarter inch plumbing linking to your solid fuel boiler from Waggy as Michael strode ahead getting further & further away.

(the famous duo of Waggy & Michael, on top of Ickornshaw Moor)

We had a spot of tea amongst the soft bogs as the curlew and wheatear were all about us.

The first pub had been turned into a furniture showroom (they make furniture for the London Dealing Rooms amongst other stuff, which was distressing to find in the middle of Yorkshire) and so we pressed on to the next pub - the Hare & Hounds at Lothersdale: An interesting place where customers are grudgingly welcomed after buying a dozen pints and then told to sup up and sit outside.

The weather outside (rather than inside, the pub) was pretty damn good so we made our way up to the top of the next hill; Pinhaw, to find two delightful girls: Sarah & Rachael, who were loitering around at the trig point. We approached carefully as we are vulnerable: Over 50, away from the control of any sensible women and tired and emotional after a nice lunch.

Waggy whipped out his organ and we all danced around the trig point to Waggy's Wild Tunes (the capitals are important here) and we polished off the bottles of red we had carried up there and the girls accepted my pervert's toffees, even with the trouser pocket lint glued to the wrappers.

We had “Stripped the Willow”, and so thought that it was time to go, as Janet was ready to collect us to take us back to Chicken and Baked potatoes with gravy.

I am now in the The Admiral Lord Rodney - a popular slave trader - with wonderful tiled walls and a superb collection of regulars - all larger than life and very welcome any time back at the Axe & Compass.