COMPUTER WIZARD

I’m sending a huge “thank you” to Big Darren this evening.

For almost a year, Larry the Laptop has been having a bit of a wobble with things secure. He has been sitting there on my desk in Mission Control, wide open to the world’s internet master criminals. In fact, it transpires, he has been their very best friend and has played host to all their little presents, all because good ol’ Virgin Media has been a complete pile of dog poo and letting all this naughty stuff through the wire into poor little Larry’s innards.

So much so, that for a little while Larry has been suffering a really bad dose of indigestion. He has been refusing his fences, unless kicked in the withers. However, today Larry decided he had had enough. He did not budge an inch, refused to move a muscle. Then, there was the Blue Screen Of Death.

I put it all down to the wedding. Larry stopped dead as the wedding dress was being eased into the Abbey. Whilst the rest of the world was hyper-ventilating over young Kate’s attire and Will was waiting at the alter, Larry decided enough was enough and stopped. Dead.

Who are you going to call?

Within a blink of an eye, the Ghostbuster in Chief, The Wizard of the Wires was winging his way to Mission Control. Air was sucked slowly through the teeth. “Was there any back-up?” “Back what?” Heads were scratched. The verdict was sombre: Larry was in a very poor state. In fact, Larry was on the critical list.

But Big D is a fighter. He is made of the right stuff. After a whole afternoon of teasing, tweaking and testing, Larry was nursed gently back into the light, leaving the dark places behind. So, by the end of the afternoon he was back, bursting with rude health, but this time with a complete set of inoculations.