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Saturday, 27 April 2013

TGO Challenge 2013: Gluttony

Mars bar

I’ve made a terrible mistake.

There is still a fortnight to go to the start to the Challenge, yet I’ve been out buying scoff. This scoff sits there in Mission Control, in a sugary delicious heap, awaiting distribution to one of three piles.

Pile One: Scoff that is coming with me in my rucksack. This food has to last the four days until we reach Tulloch .

Pile Two: Scoff that needs to be posted to Tulloch so that I can eat for another two days until we get to the hotel at Laggan. This pile must include comestibles for the first Cheese & Wine Party as well as the normal day-to-day stuff.

Pile Three: Scoff that needs to last me three days to get to Braemar. This pile has to include even more comestibles for our second Cheese & Wine Party.

There’s flap-jack, Mars and Marathon bars, jelly babies, soups, mug-shots, packs of tuna and seemingly sixty seven packs of freeze-dried food as well. It’s lying there, sexily, calling to me: “Take me, Big Boy!”

How can you resist a wonderful chocolaty pile of munchy Mars bars? How can you possibly resist packets of jelly babies? And the Marathons too.

I can’t. I didn’t.

This fat bastard will be back out to Tescos tomorrow then…

20 comments:

  1. Ha, I wondered how long you'd be able to resist! My Mars Bar stock has reduced from 6 to 2 since getting home from the Lakes - I think I'd better go for a run tomorrow!
    JJ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Run...
      You know that running is not allowed on the Challenge? I was thinking that the stroll to Tescos would probably keep me at my current peak of performance.

      Delete
  2. It's a good job you are walking right across Scotland,otherwise you might put weight on with that lot:) Have a good one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm waking with Andy Walker & Phil. I've noticed that Andy has been shedding the pounds after his overweight appearance at last year's event...
      Lord Elpus has been on Miss Whiplash's lettuce leaf diet for the last year. She said something like "He'll thank me for this in May" as she tucked into her sirloin steak and chips, with him looking on morosely...

      Delete
  3. Good job your not diabetic as well.HA

    ReplyDelete
  4. We can only hope that Sloth doesn't rear its ugly head next (or any of the other 5 for that matter)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can see that you're ahead of me already on this one, Tony...
      :-)

      Delete
  5. I've sent two parcels already so no risk of eating them. One is off to the YH in Fort Bill and one is of to Braemar Bunkhouse. I'll be leaving my car at the campsite in Montrose prior to the Challenge and take the train to Queen street and Mallaig on Thursday. Better hop into Tesco on Wednesday for the Jelly Babies which we don't have in Holland.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow - You're quick off the mark, Theo.

      No Jelly Babies in Holland? I thought it was a civilised country?
      :-)

      Delete
    2. We ARE civilised ! We've got windmills you know ;-)

      Delete
  6. Think of it as building a background level of Mars Bar in the system; thereby avoiding any risk of Mars Bar shock on the first day of the challenge. Gives the whole thing an air of scientific plausibility.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good idea. Dave. On the same principle I've been increasing my whisky exposure. We don't want any nasty surprises there, either.
      :-)

      Delete
  7. I don't like Mars Bars. However, I am considering carrying a few for that energy 'hit', to get me up that last hill of the day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mars bars aren't as good as they used to be. They are softer these days and slightly sweeter.

      Delete
  8. I take celebrations rather than big bars.
    Problem with bug bars is you open them and feel compelled to eat them all. Celebrations are little ones.
    Also jelly Babies which I do like, just don't last long enough unless it is bloody cold, so I will take Haribo's or Wine gums. Well, maybe one bag of JBs:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I have ever felt compelled to eat bug bars. Mind you, when it's midgey, there's no avoiding the extra protein.

      Delete
  9. Just read this Alan and i think for the younger reader you need to get with it as they say and move on its now called a Snicker lol.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Replies
    1. He's right you know.
      Opal Fruits are now called Starburst (????)
      Imps are impossible to get hold of.
      Mars bars have been down sized but not in price.
      And the nanny state want to Tax all alcohol to ridiculous proportions so that a few piss heads don't get drunk in the streets.
      Bloody Hell. I mean, it's only a few times during 14 days once a year. Don't see what all the fuss is about.

      Delete
    2. Even when I look at a "Snickers" bar it still says "Marathon" in my head.

      They stopped making Opal Fruits??? When was that - the bastards! The Dandy's gone too...

      Broken Britain, eh?

      Delete

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