Latterly, Mad'n'Bad has been walking with the Bigger Boys and in a very Big-Boy-Full-of-Testosterone fashion has broken one or two of them on the way. You may find this difficult to believe, but the old bastard had one or two good points. But let's not get carried away, there were only one or two. The first was a magical propensity to produce cans of beer from his tiny man-bag when all was seemingly lost. The second was to pour oil over the stormy waters that is the relationship between Lord Elpus and me.
Phil and I walked as a pair for the 2016 Challenge. The silence was blissful. I was not jabbed once by flailing walking pole-tips and rest stops were taken plentifully and at length; No-one stomped about in the far distance harrumphing. We walked along roads in polite lines; No vehicles were seen to fly off into the scenery or bury themselves in roadside ditches.
But there were no magical beers and the disputes were wild and stormy. For 2017, Something Had To Be Done. We needed another Fixer. Another Bon Viveur. Another intellect to calm the stormy outbursts. A Third Way.
We believe we have found just the chap:
 |
God, No! Not the lunatic on the left. He's Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know. No Sir. The fellow who has chosen to join this elite team is the smiley gentleman on the right: David 'VeryVeryNiceMan' Williams.
When we let the Fat Controller at Challenge Control know that David was walking with us, there was a stunned silence. At length, this was followed by "Does he know what he has let himself in for?"
And this is what he has let himself in for. This is the route Phil (who is our Team Captain again this year) will shortly be sending off to the Vetters.
 |
| LAMBERT/SLOMAN/WILLIAMS TGO CHALLENGE 2017 MAP: CLICK TO ENLARGE |
The route is a heady mix of high-level camps, crafty Corbetts, mad Munros, rocky ridges and handsome hotels. And there's a cheese and wine party thrown in as well, at two thousand, six hundred and sixty six Imperial Feet above Her Majesty's Ordnance Datum.
 |
| CLICK TO ENLARGE |
 |
| CLICK TO ENLARGE |
What could possibly go wrong?
I am humbled, Alan, humbled. Although in May I fear that will turn to rumbled as you discover my nasty streak and my inability to produce a can of beer in Mad and Bad style. Although I have purchased a very clever lightweight container that holds 750ml of liquid, coincidentally the same volume as a nice bottle of red. Or white.
ReplyDeleteAh yes. The Wine Platypus. An invaluable piece of kit.
DeleteLord Elpus is considering carrying a set of three Crystal whisky glasses, each in their own felt-lined oak boxes. He's a selfless demon for doing the right thing, in considerable style.
I predict a riot, oh sorry, I meant resounding success. David, I have walked with these gentlemen, and their mad’n’bad friend, and experienced nothing but joy and Wethers Originals. Obviously, I wouldn’t want to wish you on your FWA, but I am planning to be in Gleann Fhiodhaig on Saturday. How my way would be eased by the company of three such charming fellow travellers.
ReplyDeleteSweet Emma! Could you be tempted by an 'easy' Corbett on Sunday morning? Some of the finest views that Scotland can muster followed by a delightful (mostly) downhill ridge walk that will transport us deliciously eastwards?
DeleteThere will be trouser pocket lint-covered Werther's Originals as an added temptation...
Hmmm,I will certainly consider the possibility of maybe thinking about it. I am carefully crafting my route as we speak. A fine route you have, by the way.
DeleteOur route is a bit of a camel in that Phil chose the start point (not yet having started at Strathcarron) David chose Mazeran and the Lairig Ghru and I fiddled with the first two Corbetts. Phil ensured that there were enough hotels, and I fettled the ghastly route sheet so that it looked like it had some sort of design behind it...
DeleteConsidering the possibility of maybe... . That's encouraging. Virtually a definite in our book!
😀
Nice route.
ReplyDeleteI shall miss the company.
That said, our paths will cross.
Make sure Mr Williams rucksack is big enough for additional beer and 35cl of Sloe Gin..
That Sloe Gin's important...
DeleteThe Sloes should be picked by now...
Obviously the queue of candidates was ..... well....one!
ReplyDeleteGood luck David and don't forget the outdoor beer licence in Braemar has closed and you now have to pay for brown bags.
Tush and La, sirrah!
DeleteWe were fighting off faarrzunds of the blighters! After standing them in polite lines and discovering the whereabouts of the Senior Boy, it transpired tha in fact it was a Shielah!
Now that just couldn't be, what with Miss Whiplash and all..
So we picked David.
He has promised to wear the pink tutu and chiffon scarf for the Cheese & Wine. That was the clincher.
What can I say except enjoy the Werther's, hostelries and cheese and wine. Oh, and the walking bit.
ReplyDeleteThe walking bit does rather bugger it all up. If it wasn't for all that tedious plodding through midge infested bog it would be a real jape!
Delete:-)
That looks like a nice route, Alan, in good company. You plan to start as Sue and I did this year. We were at your proposed camp soon after lunchtime. From there it's a very good stalkers path up the Corbett. We descended from 862 to Bealach Bhearnais, from where there are great views to Skye and another optional Corbett if you have the energy! Enjoy! I started at 'Standby 80' this year, so no route is planned but I could pop up anywhere...
ReplyDeleteThanks Martin - It's good to know that the descent to the bealach is okay - I wasn't sure from looking at the map, so I plumped for what looked a slightly easier slope.
DeleteThat's a rotten Standby Number.
:-(
Cheese and Wine, Sir?
The descent is fine, any crags are easily turned, but don't rush down or you may find the views whizz past a little too quickly. Your next section looks a bit squidgy. We stayed high.
ReplyDeleteI'm now at 'Standby 60' (I'm at the back as it was my 10th crossing this year) so there is hope, but if I don't get in I will be turning up randomly, and I've made a note of your C&W venue.