Monday, 26 May 2008

Packing it in.

It all fitted when I was in the Lake District.

So what happened this time?

Today I went to Birmingham in the morning after printing out the remaining Anquet maps (Why IS Birmingham so difficult to navigate?). I have emailed everyone who I work with to ensure they know I am not going to be here. I have organised Mistress to sit on my cat. I have spoken to Lynnie in her Austrian Health Spa. I have spoken to the Lawyers, Accountants and Bankers. I washed my walking socks and Merino shirt so they are fresh for tomorrow. I have made dinner. I have had a few thirst quenchers - all this is very hot work in this surprisingly clement weather and I am now very tired.

Then I started packing.

Perhaps it was a bit late to start packing?

It won't fit in. The bald fact is that is does not fit in the rucksack! What on earth has happened here???

I retreat, puzzled, to the settee. The settee is my friend. I am distracted by 'The Apprentice' and a jolly good Budvar dark lager (new to me and quite gorgeous!) Watching telly is so much easier than re-packing the rucksack.

It must be the gargantuan food bag.

The Apprentices are clueless. Wonderfully clueless. The painted girl is looking particularly ratty tonight. Alan Sugar is magnificent in his disdain for them all.

Or perhaps the camera charger and phone charger have tipped this over the edge?

Lily, my cat, looks at me suspiciously. She knows I am abandoning her. I cannot look her in the eye. Mistress has suggested that perhaps if I took her Louis Vuitton rucksack it might all fit in. I counter that at least my kit will stay dry in it as it is made of plastic. I am being peevish and I am sorry, Mistress.

Could it be that I have packed the tent in the side pockets this time?

I will finish my beer. I will finish The Apprentice. I will have another go at packing the behemoth. Later.

It is not looking good. Lord Elpus will be here at 5:15 in the morning. I can see myself still packing when he gets here.

Lord Elpme!


  1. Best wishes to you and Lord E for the Challenge - and your various parties along the way.

  2. Cheers Duncan - We shall glory in your magnificent country.

    Wildcamping within the law! Cheese & wine paries in heavenly country.

  3. Ah, perhaps I donated my old friend, the big friendly rucksack, to the wrong man. The new Gregory has swallowed the challenge kit whole...But!!! It is strangely heavy. 33.5lb inc whisky & food.

    Maybe I should ditch some of the food...

    See you at dawn, sir.

    Lord E.

    p.s. Thanks for your good wishes, Duncan, see you on the chally next year???

  4. I am exhausted.

    Kerrie Kestrel has been packed, repacked and then packed again from first principles. The Sloe Gin is stowed securely. Four days food is to found deep in the inner fold of the sack.

    I am watching Paxman with a fine English single varietal cider. All is well with the world.

    Kerrie needs to go on a diet. She is consuming too much fodder. She is weighing in on the scales at a hefty 32 lbs. That is quite heavy.

    She will trim down as the drink and food is consumed, as the maps are chucked away in the bothy fires, disappearing up the lum like so many dreams.

    My own fat little frame will trim down slightly too. It's not in too bad a shape - a fighting 12 stone 1 lb.

    I must to bed. A taxi will be here shortly to whisk me away to Stansted Airport.

    G'night all.

  5. WAKE UP ALAN !!!
    Lord Elpus is banging on the door !

    Have a nice walk across.


  6. Good luck Alan,enjoy the crossing and i hope you dont have too many hangovers!

  7. Hi Alan,

    Looking forward to hearing about your TGO!



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