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Sunday, 26 October 2008

THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

You have probably all been wondering where I have been this last month. I owe you an explanation and also I need to let you know that shortly my blog will be back up and running again.

Four weeks ago today I learned by accident that Lynnie was leaving me. It came as a colossal shock to me and also that she had been planning it for over three years. Since Thursday we have been moving her things to her new home and she is warm and safe there and today is the first day that I am alone.

We had been together for over twenty years and have brought up three lovely children who we are fiercely proud of. I am completely heartbroken, and emotionally shattered, as I have always loved her and I am sure I always will. I do not feel any bitterness or anger towards Lynnie, just a deep seated despair that I just cannot seem to shrug off.

That's all I am going to say on the matter, but I will add that I am doing my absolute utmost to try and win her back again, as without her I feel I have absolutely no point in life at all.

If there are any quiet points in my blog in the next few months, please have a bit of patience, as today is the first day of the rest of my life and I am desperately trying to cobble it all back together again.

Thank you.

34 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear that Alan. Be assured of the support of your "virtual" mates.

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  2. Whatever I could say would probably sound meaningless at present Alan. Take it day by day and you know where we all are if you need anything that could help you

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  3. Words offer little hope some times, but as always I hope they offer some to you. Hang in there and take care.

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  4. Our greatest sympathy for you Alan, the news must have been devastating out of the blue like that. It will be hard at first but I know you will adapt gradually.

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  5. Remember we are here for you if you have need, Alan.

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  6. My husband left me after almost 20 years together he just came home one day and said he was leaving.... its hard its tough but I am living proof that you can get over these things and life goes on, sometimes you even find a better life even though you never expect you will.
    Take care and be strong ,your friends will be there for you x

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  7. Oh sh1t!

    Really hope that things work out OK for you. Best wishes.

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  8. I can't say much that would add to what the others have said already except that life does go on. My thoughts are with you.

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  9. Bugger. Good luck with whatever comes next, Alan.

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  10. Hi Al,So sorry to hear about your bad news.Have just got back from visiting an old friend who has lived on his own nr Aberdovey in Mid Wales for the last 8 years.He split up from his wife 8 years ago and moved from Stoke to his present location.I never really realised the heartache he had gone through until we had a very long chat one night which stretched into the early hours of the morning.He had hit rock bottom but has slowly rebuilt his life and is now fine.My thoughts are with you and I wish you all the best for the future.The number of messages on your blog shows that you have many friends out there and are not alone.Good Luck.

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  11. Sorry to hear this.

    Hope things work out for you.

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  12. Dear Alan, How very sad. Nothing we can say will probably help but we do feel for you. No-one ever "gets over" such life changing events but - in time - we hope you adjust and just take things a day at a time. Awful that life can suddenly crumble.
    Love from us both John & Mary

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  13. It's a crap thing to have to go through. Hang in on there.

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  14. Thoughts of support and hope from across the pond, Alan.

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  15. Hi Alan,

    Take your time, get yourself straight and you'll be moving forward again when the time is right.

    Take all the time you need.

    M.

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  16. Terrible news Alan and our words probably won’t make it any better at the moment but we all do truly care.

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  17. Best wishes.

    I'm still trying to comprehend ... oops, I already wrote that on Uncle Phil's blog.

    Good luck for the future.

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  18. Sorry to hear this. I can only echo the sentiments above, best wishes.

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  19. Sorry to hear this news. Just remember your friends are always there for you.
    Bob

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  20. I'm very sorry Al.There's not much advice that can be given at this time although one of my oldest friends has found himself in that very positiona few months ago. Justy take things slowly and gently.

    And remember, many of us love you for just being you !!!

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  21. So sorry to read your blog entry, Alan. The other responses say it all, really. Hang in there, and take comfort in the fact that you don't have to face this all alone...

    Mark

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  22. Hi Alan
    Sue and I send our very best wishes.
    We hope to see you soon and perhaps enjoy some images of the Italian Border Route with you.
    Kindest regards
    Martin

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  23. A terrible way to find out Alan and we can only hope time helps heal some of the deep wounds you must be feeling at the moment.

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  24. Thank you everyone for your comments - they really have made a difference.

    I shall not be commenting any more on my personal situation as the blog is really a little ray of sunshine for me, where I share my love of the outdoors and of course, crap telly, illiterate newsreaders, as it's where I can have a heartily good rant at the world.

    All I will say is that life really has given me an incredible kicking at the moment and I am so very, very bruised by it all.

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  25. Alan,

    I'm sorry to hear that and you've been the second Outdoor blogger I know who are forced going through this.
    At least our common passion of hiking allows us to let loose and clears up our minds so we can decide which are the best steps to be taken next.
    And even if it doesn't help you now as others mentioned before time will be helping as well.

    Take care
    Roman

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  26. Oh Alan
    We were so very sorry to learn of the recent changes in your personal life. We hope , as do all your friends, that time will heal the hurt.
    Lou and Phyl

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  27. So sorry about this. Life can be shit at times. If it's a tiny bit of consolation, been through some ups and downs myself lately, and I don't just mean walking the Haut-Languedoc. Too early to say this, I know, but there may just be diamonds to be unearthed in the merde at a later date - or, at least, maybe a semi-precious stone. Take care of yourself, and whatver you do, keep on blogging.

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  28. tough times Alan, so sad to see your news. Take your time, walk slowly !good luck

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  29. Another message of virtual support. I have great admiration for you and the way you use words Alan. Your blog has raised me from the depths many many times over its life. In particular the post about 'Dads hands', that post helped me no end.
    My thoughts are with you and will stay with you over the coming months.

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  30. I know you know a little of my past and that despite trying to drown my sorrows in a similar situation [in Rioja] some years ago it was the hills, Glens, Lochs and travels abroad that brought me a new life and made me move on. The old life is still back there in the murky past with all its adventures, ups and downs but a new one has taken its place and has turned out to be a very fulfilling one; there is so much more out there that it seems futile drowning in one's own emotional whirlpool although I did it for quite sometime myself. So although the 'down' is here and now you have three wonderful kids to support you, great friends to lean on and the beauty of all those superb landscapes that you dare to explore. And finally I suspect this emotional blackhole will be twofold, even if in very different ways - for both of you. Take care H.

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  31. Alan, Having gone through this myself a couple of years ago I'd suggest seeing if going to relate might help.

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  32. hi Alan,boy what a wealth of friends you have,don't think yourself down mate, you are a good and nice man,we all have our little idiosyncrases thats life we are not perfect,sometimes the other person cannot see trees in a Forrest! terry

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  33. Blimey Alan - I really feel for you there mate. That's a kicker.

    I've been through one or two dark times myself (still rather am in fact) when I couldn't imagine how anything good could come from them. But then, looking back, I realise that good things did.

    It doesn't make it very much easier to deal with at the time perhaps - but it's worth trying to bear in mind.

    And you already seem to be doing exactly that in fact!

    It really sounds like you're doing what everyone should do, but perhaps not everyone can manage, and working on how you can make things better from here rather than dwelling on how things were.

    Not an easy time - very best of luck.

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