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Tuesday, 2 December 2008

BEARDLESS BASTARD!

The Current Project I am working on demands the use of face masks (Asbestos is a bit of a bastard, to put it mildly). The trouble with wearing face masks is that you are not allowed a beard as a seal around the mask cannot be made and you would be breathing in great clumps of fiercely nasty asbestos. So the beard is off for a while until we can clear the site of the horrendous stuff.

It just so happens that the beard removal has coincided with a pretty nasty cold snap. That's a rotten shock to the chin! But there is worse!

The noble chin has for the last sixteen years been snuggled by the beard in various lengths and styles. The time came to remove it. First the beard trimmer. Then the wet shave. Quite a novelty; the wet shave after sixteen years. The new-fangled FOUR bladed cut-throat (when did the other three blades arrive then?) glided through the stubble and shaving cream with faces pulled to keep the skin nice and taut. After a general sawing action with the new super-duper shaving four bladed scimitar, a quick swish over with the cold water and a gentle patting of the face with the flannel to remove at least some of the haemorrhaging, there was the inspection in the bathroom mirror.

AAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Where did they come from????

There were..... JOWLS!

At some point in the last sixteen years there has been growing, beneath the beard, two dangly bits either side of the noble chin. I have JOWLS!

I shall instruct the Asbestos Removal Contractor to work harder and faster. The beard has got to come back.

10 comments:

  1. So, will there be pictures, or will you spare us?

    (17 years and counting...)

    ReplyDelete
  2. There is a picture - Can be found on Martin & Sue's blog on the OBF Blogger's Meet in Cambridge... It's not good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gawd, you look like Martin's older brother!!!

    link

    ReplyDelete
  4. What happens to a newly shaven chin. Does it get horribly scratchy? Or can you still stroke it and go "hmmmmmm" when faced with an intractable puzzle?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Did you mean JOWLS?!

    Plenty of pics here Uncle Alan!

    http://images.google.co.uk/images?um=1&hl=en&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=JOWLS&spell=1

    Nik

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't worry I have been photo shopped on Martins blog. He could do the same for your beardless picis. Jowls gone till the beard is back;).

    I'm off now to discuss tarps yet again on Andy Howells blog.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aye, Nik - Jowls it is - Now corrected. The correct spelling, though shorter, doesn't make them any smaller though...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jowls can be a positive asset in the insurance industry, Al. Don't be too hasty! ;-))

    ReplyDelete
  9. Alan, as an older guy who beat you to jowls by years, I figured this is why they invented Buffs. It may look a little odd in summer or at meetings, but people just think I'm stylin'.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Traitor! I'd rather give up the job than the beard.
    G.

    ReplyDelete

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