Tuesday, 2 June 2009


Today I am listening to everything in Mono. Stereo is so passe!

I took up this retro-fascination yesterday night: In a blinding flash at just after midnight I was suddenly wide awake in bed with an incredibly sore head and an amazing pain in my right ear. In minutes the pain then grew unbearable as though there was a thick rubber balloon about to explode in my head - and then it did.

I held my hand up to this loud whooshing noise in my ear and my hand was soaked in blood! It was trickling out of my ear!

All this was a bit alarming so I made a quick phone call to 'NHS Direct' (I found the number on the web, whilst blood was trickling down onto my neck) and gave exactly the same details to the first person I spoke to as the second person - this time a 'nurse'.

I was not to panic, take some ibuprofen and go back to bed, bloody ear-side down on the pillow.

My pretty ace GP saw me this morning, and confirmed I had made a really good job of perforating my ear drum, right in the middle with quite a big hole - all down to an ear infection that I thought had been a spot of hay-fever. I have a whole load of antibiotics which should sort out the cause and then I am to let nature take it's course and with a bit of luck all should be healed up in a couple of months time.

Ho hum. Feeling fine though, all the same!


  1. glad that you will heal, in mean time take full advantage by making sure boring people and naggy women sit on the damaged ear side ;-)

  2. Oh you poor thing, I hope it gets itself sorted soonly!

    Take regular doses of 100ml of Talisker, diluted with not a lot. It won't improve the ear drum but it will help you forget about it.

  3. Sounds like a pretty scary moment! Hope it gets better soon, but in the meantime ...

    "It's your round, Al"
    "It's your round, Al"
    "Half past two..."
    etc. etc.

    Every cloud :-D

  4. Yikes! Good thing you weren't on the hills at the time. Hope it heals quickly!

  5. ZOMG! That sounds terrible! You won't know how it sounds, of course, since you can't hear... I've been told that perforated eardrums are the most painful thing EVAAAH (except for kidney stones). Do you have to put your feet up? Seems like the sensible choice...

    (Piglet wanted to lick it better but I was worried about infection, so she sends you some semi-masticated kibble instead. The cat just laughed.)

  6. So long as it isn't a Ceti Eel planted by someone you upset in a Scottish hotel ;-)

    Get well soon, Alan.

  7. I like the NHS advice, which is just what your mum would have told you. Take an aspirin and lie down. I could do that job.

  8. Ouch!!

    Makes my hayfever urticaria pale into complete insignificance (or atleast, I wish it would, blotchy red doesn't do it for me.)

    Plenty of r & r and you'll soon be back on your feet. Cake helps. Washed down with a good dram. Or three...

    Take care.

  9. Darren: Good plan!

    JJ: Tallisker - already on it, old fruit!

    Phil: Are you ever going to get them in then? It's 2:30, you know and it's last orders!

    WP: - I suppose I could have taken some Pain Killers but it would have been very frightening without knowing what was happening - NHS Direct did help in some way!

    PW: Cats are just like that. All dogs are fools in their eyes.

    Dunc: What's a Ceti Eel then?

    Des: So true! Can I play too?

    Louise: I LOVE cake! In fact, i think I shal go and make some right now - with another glass of Tallisker to help me.

    Many thanks everyone - you are all lovely!

  10. Ow! All the best Alan, hope you get better soon.

  11. Sounds scary.
    Take it easy, hope it's fixed soon.

  12. Duncan - That is exactly what it felt like! How disgusting is that!

    I shall go and have another glass of that Scottish Electric Water right now to calm the nerves.

  13. Hi Alan

    You could always take advantage of your predicament and grab the chance to start smoking and blow smoke out of your ear (had to be careful of a typo there); I'm sure that it is possible.

    It does heal fairly quickly, I understand, and from people that I know who have done it - the rupturing does make the pain go away.

    Just don't go flying anywhere until it has healed properly.

  14. Do you kow - you can tell who spends their time in public houses: Mick, only this afternoon, Lord Elpus declared that this was the perfect ruse to get free drinks all night this coming weekend in the pub in Seathwaite - the "Who can blow cigar smoke out his ears" routine...

    He was even going to supply the cigars - all I had to do was smoke them. Seems like a good plan to me!

  15. You made your head explode after all!! I thought you could only expel so much snot. Oh dear. You're on the mend though? I'll call you later

    Rach x x x

  16. Alan, I really don't think shoving painkillers into your ear to stop the bleeding would have been a good idea ... :-P

  17. Heal well Alan and get out and about soon.

  18. Bummer, Alan. I've been one-eared since spectacular blood-spurts, though, and no pain.You know by now that you temporarily have the opportunity to subtly block out all sorts of annoying blather simply by casually resting your ear on your hand and pressing gently. In this way, I've gotten through any number of sermons and public meetings without running mad. You can also nullify the alarm clock by sleeping on the correct side. Enjoy it while you can!


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