Saturday, 6 August 2011


Donald Trump
We should all pause for a moment to reflect on Poor Donald’s dilemma.

You see, Donald is investing a lot of time, money and reputation in building a beautiful new golf course. He chose a wonderful spot by the sea-side near Aberdeen for his project. He enlisted help from his good buddy, Alex to get some dirty little protesters pushed to one side. After all, it was a wonderful investment opportunity that would bring fantastic wealth to the local people. Alex thought it was a grand plan and so he backed Donald.

Donald didn’t like the look of his neighbours and so he planted trees all around them so he couldn’t see their tatty little hovels and they couldn’t see the sea anymore either.

But then, along comes another plan, one of Alex’s actually, to create yet more investment opportunities and wealth. In August 2010 the Queen awarded exclusive rights to Aberdeen Offshore Wind Farm Ltd to develop The European Offshore Wind Deployment Centre, out to sea, right in front of Donald’s golf course. This innovative project has a grant award of up to forty million Euros from the European Union. It’s a deployment centre to test and demonstrate up to 11 next generation offshore wind turbines plus other related technology.

More information can be found HERE

Now, Donald isn’t happy. Donald thinks that this will spoil his view of the sea-side.

What does the congregation think Poor Donald should do?


  1. Hi Alan, couldn't happen to a nicer man....if they're gonna build the bloody things then I say stick em up Trump's...sorry I mean stick em under his nose!!

  2. Tragicomedic

    A combination of corrupt businessman and politicians.

    It's a shame the Scottish land(sea)scape is destroyed in the process.

  3. "What does the congregation think Poor Donald should do?"

    How about "Feck off back home with his golf-clubs stuck up his erse, and perhaps call in at the wig-maker's on the way"?

    Just a suggestion.


  4. He's probably planning some kind of protest.

    Could be in the market for a second-hand lightweight coffin ?

  5. in good old plain northern english...."my heart bleeds piss" what a shame

  6. Hi Janet
    Succinctly put... My sentiments exactly...

    Hi Robin
    I first found this story on "Benvironment" (see links to the RHS) Over there, Ben makes an excellent point. If Trump does succeed in his objection to the scheme it will prove just how utterly corrupt the Scottish political scene is under Salmond.

    It would also be a magnificent precedent to halt every wind farm application in its tracks.

    Stef; Come on - it's not like you to sit on the fence...

    OM: You are right of course. Donald's wingman is already planning a protest - indeed issuing threats into the bargain...

  7. Trump and Salmond. Two enormous egos on collision course. This should be interesting! Pistols at dawn?

  8. I haven't laughed so much in a long while. Thanks for making my day!

  9. Donald has invested a lot of money in this project. It would be simply awful if it ended up losing money, being abandoned and the land reclaimed by the forces of nature.

    I bet that clubhouse would make a lovely bothy.

  10. Tony: I like Bryony too - she used to live next door to me when I was a boy...

    JG: Pistols at lunch, more probably. They would waste the whole morning checking to see who had the bigger pistol before playing with them.

    Jules: You obviously aren't taking Poor Donald's dilemma anywhere near seriously enough. Tut, Sir. Tut!

    Byeways: That's the spirit. Let's find something positive out of Poor, Poor Donald's dilemma.

  11. He should put up a big fence with a seascape painted on it.
    He could have cliffs and enormous breakers, surging dramatically dramatically upon a lonely lighthouse. And he should take Alex off he Christmas card list.

  12. Mike: You've been smoking the helleborine, haven't you. Stop giggling, man!

  13. I hope he has got a turbine running the 19th hole. It might help suck his balls in!
    The white dimpled ones i mean.

  14. I am getting the distinct impression that our congregation is not treating Poor Donald's dilemma with the gravitas it deserves.

    Why has no-one suggested bribery? I understand from the media that Donald believes that money talks? Surely the usual big very fat brown envelope should do it, Donald?

    Address it to "Alex, Leith" I am sure the postie will know where to deliver it.

  15. What does the congregation think Poor Donald should do?

    They'd never fit!

    Mind you, if you took the blades off they'd be the right shape!

  16. Andy: With a hairdo like his, I am not sure that Our Donald would not enjoy the experience. How many tins of hair lacquer does it take to perfect that peculiar style of his? He must have his own Tarquin to travel with him in his private jet.

    And... is it fair to the turbines?

  17. Alan said

    "If Trump does succeed in his objection to the scheme it will prove just how utterly corrupt the Scottish political scene is under Salmond."

    Who needs proof!!!!!!

  18. Hi Geoff: The incredible thing (from an Englishman's perspective) is that Salmond is so popular amongst the Scottish electorate. His opposition was of even poorer quality.

    It does amaze me that Salmond really does not give a monkey's stuff about the wild land of his own country and is willing to sacrifice it purely for the chance of a quick buck - he wants to be an exporter of power to England - even though the infrastructure to export this power is not yet adequate to meet those plans.

    He does have a major character flaw - wanting to suck up to hooligans like Trump - who has, it appears, pots of money. With the global recession we may well find that Trump does not have the finances he so often trumpets. Indeed, he has already cut back his grandiose plans for the golf course to more modest proportions.

    If he does go tits-up what will become of the appalling mess he has made of that wonderful coast-line?


  20. QDT: Great Article - the lunatics *are* running the asylum and some more seem to be reporting on it as well - both at our expense.


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