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Saturday, 21 December 2013

TGO Challenge 2014: A route in for vetting

It’s the winter solstice. The supermarket aisles are rammed full of mad women chopping your ankles with their over-loaded trolleys, desperate for another tin of Quality Street and nasty bottles of mulled wine. It’s dark outside and it’s pissing down with rain. And yet, we are continuously blasted with exhortations to be full of Christmas cheer.

Ho bleeding ho.

However! All is not lost. I can help. The Fat Controller has our Challenge route sheet. That should give the Vetters a giggle or two over the festive season. I can see them now, pink cheeked, sitting in their party hats, snorting into their glasses of peat and smoke. Sharp bubbles burning their nostrils.

“What? That pair of eejuts? Up there?”

The particular pair of eejuts they’re referring to are of course Mad’n’Bad and me.

MAD'N'BAD

Mad’n’Bad is the ultimate example of the right stuff. Solid gold crafted from common clay. A lean, mean, walking machine.

This is the man who will drag our sorry arses up a dozen Munros and Corbetts. This man will be hauling his wrinkly frame and a completely screwed knee over the top of Scotland’s wrinkly bits for almost 200 miles with close on 30,000 feet of climbing. This is the man who produces miracle cans of beer from his pack when you are at your lowest ebb, in the middle of sod all.

This is the man who said “How many? HOW bleeding FAR? THIRTY THOUSAND FUCKING FEET!!!”

Yes, our route is in. The Vetters are chuckling. All is well in our world.

TGOC 2014 MAP OF OUR ROUTE REVA

MALLAIG TO LUNAN BAY: CLICK ON MAP TO MAKE IT BIGLY HUGE.

23 comments:

  1. looks a good walk that. We need more details and a hill list so we can get into the planning that has gone into this submission.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sir!
      There will be a complete route sheet when we have made the (inevitable) adjustments required by our esteemed red-nosed, pink cheeked, party hatted Vetter.
      :-)

      Delete
  2. What is amazing about that photo, is that I don't like Guinness.
    And I meant to say.
    "WHAT? Only 30,000 fucking feet?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hmm, I thought I was doing a relatively low level route with only two Munros and I'm doing 25,000ft of ascent. Better get training!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you pick your tops carefully you won't have massive ascents to cope with. We're nabbing six Munros south of Loch Callater for very little climb. A couple in the Monadhliath spring to mind as well.
      #CunningBastards

      Delete
  4. I shall stick this route up shortly on an OS interactive map.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm currently struggling with the OS, trying to import that facility into the blog.The instructions seem to be written in Greek!
      :-)

      Delete
  5. Looks good! - although its hard to pickup the detail even when the picture is enlarged. But what are those numbers all over the map? Probably not kilometres or miles, not metres or feet, can it be version numbers?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Paul
      The numbers are a bit irritating aren't they? I can't seem to get rid of them either. You can pick from the following choices:
      * They are the number of plotted route points along sections of the route
      * They are the quantities of Jellybabies Andy will be scoffing along the route
      * They are the numbers of times we're heard to mutter "Just *why* are we doing this?"

      Once vetted, I'll publish the maps in greater detail along with our route sheet.
      :-)

      Delete
  6. Easy bags out of Callater. Well you noted me and Philip gliding past you over 3 of them in May :) I hope you boys pick up the pace next time around.

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    Replies
    1. In fact, our little band of brothers did three big Munros that day last year, enjoying a leisurely stroll, whilst you chaps took the easy route along to Dog Hillock.
      :-)

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    2. Over THREE Munros I will have you. Then over.....well a lot of wonderful bog. But we like bog ;)

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    3. Yes that's the route.
      The easy route.
      We did that a while back lugging cheese & wine all the way to the Waters of Eunich.
      LINK
      :-)

      Delete
  7. Have grid refs been published yet for the C and W dooo,s!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Indeed they have, Alan - They've been on the Challenge Message Board since 8th November!
    LINK

    Will you be coming along, then?
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will try to. I don't read the message board much. I suppose i should make more of an effort.

      Delete
    2. It would be splendid if you could make it, Alan.
      Us hardened Cheese & Wine Veterans should stick together!
      The Chally Message Board is well-worth keeping up with - you get to 'know' a few characters before the event by following it regularly.
      :-)

      Delete
    3. Indeed Alan.
      We could be the Brenig Boys :-)

      Delete
  9. By the way.
    I am MUCH better looking than that this year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also keep telling myself I'm more handsome each passing year.
      Sadly, we both know that we just get more decrepit.
      Sorry, old mate!
      :-)

      Delete
  10. An impressive arsenal of FWA's there in your back pocket Alan. More alternatives than life itself. I'm humbled by the amount of planning that must have gone into this.

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    Replies
    1. Hi John, and welcome to the Challenge!
      Actually, I added another FWA after I published this map... You can see our final route sheet with its FWAs by clicking HERE
      I ought to redo that map, as it will confuse me when I'm in my dotage looking back at all this madness...

      Delete

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