FIT FOR PURPOSE

White skinned, skinny and unfit... With a burgeoning belly. That could be the usual description of this blog's scribe.

Looking at Darren's blog this evening I see there are 71 days to the next TGO Challenge. That's ten weeks in real money. This year, the omens are poor to say the least. Due to personal circumstances I have been out for only four walks with Lord Elpus since the new year year. Ordinarily, by now I would normally have had about ten walks down, coupled with an over-nighter somewhere like the Lakes.

Well - it is what it is. Knowing that the programme was likely to suffer, earlier in the year I tried an entirely unconventional approach; for me, that is.

Exercising.

I dug out and dusted off my old Canadian Airforce Exercise book. I gave myself a highly ambitious target of getting to the fitness level required of a 45-49 year old. Now being a white skinned skinny, unfit 53 year old I reckoned that should do it.

Bloody hell. It was hard! But after a month of straining, groaning and sweating each and every morning for the required eleven minutes, I have made it! And now - to push the envelope, I have started to visit the pool for a weekly dip as well. I think my build doesn't suit this swimming lark but I am giving it a bash. I am now up to 600m in half an hour in the 'dead slow' lane swimmers lanes.

So - if Lord Elpus and I have a particularly difficult river crossing I will be prepared.

Prepared, white skinned and with the usual burgeoning belly.

FAMILY MATTERS

It's difficult, bringing up children. But there comes a time when you have to sit back; you have done the job. All you can now do is lend a hand if it is needed. You need to be proactive in this as very often their pride will get in the way of asking for help. Actually, I suppose that could be said for anyone.

Lynnie and I have ben incredibly lucky with our children as they have each turned into people we are fiercely proud of.

This is going to be a big year for the children. The eldest two, Oliver and Rachael are getting married - both to their perfect companions. Both are wildly in love with their fiances and both have also found their true best friends.

The observant amongst our congregation will also have noticed that our youngest, Felix, is about to embark on a colossal adventure of his own, that I have mentioned before; The Marathon Des Sables, which is a six day race across the Sahara. It is commonly referred to as the toughest foot-race on earth.

He is running it for the same charity that I walked my Lejog - Sue Ryder Care. Sue Ryder cared for his Grandad (my father) and his Aunty Victoria.

Could you take a look at his 'JustGiving' page HERE and if you could help him reach his target it would mean a lot to me and my fabulous family.

COMEDIAN AND ONLY TWIN

On our recent Valentines Weekend down in London we had the surprising good fortune to bump into a bit of a celebration in the next street to our hotel. There was a bit of a kerfuffle, with loads of police all over the shop, with barricades and press photographers all standing on their little sets of steps.

It was pure comedy of course - the unveiling of a Westminster Council Green Plaque to a comedy genius. About five minutes before the Mayoress of Westminster and Mike Reid were about to kick off the celebrations the little green curtain fell away prematurely from the wall high above the crowd of well-wishers to reveal "Peter Cook - Comedian and Only Twin..."

It was just as if Peter Cook was tugging at the string himself.

The weekend was bloody wonderful, with a trip to "Maze" in Grosvenor Square (highly recommended) and a circus show at the Hippodrome and then we had lunch on Sunday with 'son number two' to hand over all his freeze dried food for the Marathon Des Sables.

Lynnie & me are both trying our best - it could all be a long, long way off, if ever at all, but I have never ducked a challenge in my life.

"Because she's worth it".

VALENTINES DAY & GRAINS OF SALT

I remember once pontificating at university on "Science, God & Morality" or some such "interfaculty study" essay. I wrote about going into the hills and what it meant to me (see! I was blogging then! 35 years ago.)

I likened our existence on this little planet of ours to grains of salt scattered on the rumpled quilt of humanity. Totally insignificant. When I ventured out onto the hill, my minute little being was put sharply into contrast with the huge sweep and majesty of God's Great Plan and the sheer enormity and bulk - physical presence - of the mountain landscape about me. It brought perspective into my humdrum little life. We are but grains of salt, tossed about on the massive quilt of life.

Then, tonight, after spending an enlivening evening down the Axe & Compass with the Farmer, Chicken Dave and the Banker, I walked back up our lane to my cottage. It was a few degrees below, and the sky was pin-sharp. Even I recognised Orion and the Plough - I picked out the North Star. Bearded Git would have been proud of me.

I stood outside the cottage, with frost and ice gleaming about me, marvelling at the sheer majesty of the whole experience. That's when I realised that for all these years I had got it wrong.

For Thirty Five Years I have been marvelling at the Big Picture. For Thirty Five Years I have been marvelling at my insignificance. Perhaps if I had spent the last twenty one of those Thirty Five Years marvelling at the beauty, grace and sheer good fortune of my life and it's happiness and place in the Cosmos I wouldn't be in the straits I find myself now. I should have been marvelling at the intimate, the personal and the small, warm hand held in mine.

Think about it. I am now and it hurts so much to realise my mistake.

SPOOKILY QUIET

Yes - I have noticed it too. It had gone a bit quiet in here.

But be ye not down-hearted! Oh No! All that quality silence had to be broken at some point with the shattering blast of the usual drivel.

You see, I have been busy. You will know of course that Lynnie & I went up to celebrate Derek Emsley's 80th in Kingussie, stopping off at a wonderful restaurant with rooms in the South Lakes on the way. The whole trip was quite splendid and since than I have been burying myself back into my work (having taken two very naughty days off for the trip) and also organising our next trip away this coming weekend. Very romantic it will be too.

But all that is just irksome chaff to the keen outdoor blog readers! Noisome clutter.  Do we have any of those keen outdoor blog readers left? No - I didn't think so. Ho hum... Must have frightened the horses.

I suppose the real meat of this particular post is that I have started to stretch some old sinews and have instigated the annual Tribal Gathering. The PreWalkDaunder is rearing and shaking its magnificent mane once more.

Smoke signals have been smudging there way skywards. Ancient telegraphs atop windswept summits have had their levers pulled and their creaking arms hoisted to random angles like drunken English Bowlers on tour in the Caribbean. Semaphoring Sailors have flagged the message across the country - indeed the world!

But to make sure the recipients got their messages I used that new-fangled electronic mail doo-dah to send the message out to the golden few. Well, when I say 'golden few' what I mean is the golden few who put up with and suffer in silence with my inane ramblings and Phil's sharp wit and wisdom. They now know who they are. They have just the sketchiest of details currently, as nothing has been planned properly as of yet - usual story then as it's being organised by me this year.

It's the Lake District again. But this time in good weather. That's a promise. Trust Me. I'm a Banker.

NORTH BY NORTH WEST

Aha, you are thinking - a quick skit on a classic Hitchcock Adventure. Ah! Mr Kaplan!

No - Sorry, to disappoint - It's the direction we shall be heading tomorrow and Friday to join with Derek and Marian and a host of family and well wishers to celebrate Derek's 80th Birthday.

It was Derek that I have to blame for me dragging myself across Scotland over the last fourteen years. I suppose Lynnie, Lord Elpus and Miss Whiplash, FenBoy Coady, Richard White, Bob Butler and my son Oli all have Derek to thank too - as I introduced them to the Challenge.

It was on Derek's mandatory year off (he had completed ten Challenges and so was forced to take a year off) that I met him - he was in a camper-van offering soup to Challengers and he mistakenly took me for one of the same, when in fact I was taking an all together different stroll. I had never even heard of the Challenge but Derek explained it all to me, and the rest is history. He has been an amazing supporter of the event - organizing annual reunions in Newtonmore and even today helping out on the Challenge Message Board.

On My LEJOG, Derek was a fantastic help - organizing accommodation, driving out to meet me in out-of-the-way places with Marian to deliver food parcels, gas canisters, fresh home-cooked bread and general moral support. Above and beyond in every respect.

The man is a gentleman and an inspiration. Happy Birthday Derek - Lynnie and me are thoroughly looking forward to the celebrations.