Monday, 12 September 2011

TGO CHALLENGE 2012: The cheques are in the post

Wee Willy Wilky Mad'n'Bad Andy

With the shock withdrawal of Lord Elpus from next year’s TGO Challenge, Mad’n’Bad Andy & me had a committee meeting over the telephone. We had to get ‘Wee Willy Wilky’ on board for the Challenge in 2012.

Churchillian (see picture above) David Harry Wilkinson, or ‘Wilky’ to his mates or ‘Wee Willy Wilky’ to all the girls (just to make the distinction between him and the David Wilkinson who already does the Challenge, you understand) came with Andy Walker & me last year from Braemar to St Cyrus to do a small section of the Challenge as a ‘taster’. He suffered the privations and traumas of Bingo Wings, the Fife Arms, Lochcallater Lodge, almost being burned alive in Gelder Shiel, smashed by the Hurricane, slaughtered at the Masons and finally making it in one (slightly tattered) piece at St Cyrus as a dry run for 2012’s Challenge.

So, we told Wilky that he had promised us faithfully at the party at Stan & Bill’s (it will always be Stan & Bill’s) at somewhere about 2:30 in the morning that he would come back in 2012 to do the whole thing . And Wilky is a man of his word and so with his arm bent so far up his back that every joint was squeaking, he finally agreed to keep his word. (We had to loosen a few finger nails as well.)

Now; this next bit is a secret, so don’t let on if you see him. But! By 2:00am both Andy & I were fast asleep in our cots and only the die-hard drinkers were still left partying downstairs at that hour, Wilky amongst them. He didn’t look too clever in the morning but was still man enough and ‘up-for-it’ to brave the hurricane that was to come that day!

Such was the combination of his socks and plimmies that Wilky finished the walk to St Cyrus with feet that resembled chopped liver. So we need to get him properly shod in time for next year.

Other than that, he is obviously the perfect man for the job. Our entry form and cheques are currently winging their way to Deppity Dawg, the New Coordinator of the Challenge

Be gentle with us in the draw, please, John!


  1. So it's not the distance, terrain or weather that I need to be worried about then?

    Its nearly two months till we get to find out if we're on.

    I guess you will get a leg-end pass if my research serves me correctly.

  2. Hi Alan - and to think that I did seriously consider applying for 2012. You're not selling it very well!

  3. To be honest Chopped Liver looks OK and has a very pleasant taste.
    I cannot comment on the flavour of Dave's feet (thank God), but I did see them, and they were far far worse probably on both counts.
    If it hadn't been for the additional medicine at the Mason's I fear he would never have made the Coast.
    Fortunately he was so medicated on the Wed, what with the Mason's residue, and most of my pain killers, I only seem to remember a vapour trail as he disappeared in a blur somewhere between the Sand Martin nests and the Rocks of Solitude.
    Lucky we drugged him, or he may have recalled the terrible truth of those 4 days.

  4. Hi Carl:

    Ooh - the Leg-Ends' automatic selection in the draw died the death many years ago now. We all go into the hat. The only folk who get priority are first timers from overseas, people about to do their tenth crossing and one or two people to do with the sponsors. (seems fair) - oh andd those who did the very first Challenge.

    Those who missed out on the previous year are given a good run too - (but not guaranteed)

    I've got in from the standby list six or seven times now. Nerve-wracking, it is, hanging on right until the end!

  5. Janet, Janet!
    That was all in the past! 2012 will be sunny with warm zephyrs and cool burns to freshen the face, a bright, springy turf, white wine spritzers on silver salvers with plump olives at the cheese & wine soirees...

    It will be quite, quite perfick!

  6. Andy - It's okay, Wee Willy Wilky doesn't read this blog - he has far better things to do.

    If by any strange chance he does happen upon this post, I'll just have to drag him to the Old Manor in town and drug him up again with Greene King Abbot. It will all have then been a dream...

  7. So I have withdrawn from an event I hadn't even applied to join???

    Why pick on that one? On the same basis I am able to confirm that I have also withdrawn from the 2012 Decathlon, the Tour de France, Fastnet Yacht Race and the Japanese Grand Prix.

    Lord E. (retired).


  8. Lord E, the well known decathlete: Burkes Peerage cites Lord E of Elpus Hall as being a keen shot (trespassers), always in for the highjump, and runs a mile at the sight of the tax inspector.

    A known habitué of the French roads on his cycle tours.

    I seem to recall a period of gainful employment skippering various yachts about?

    And anyone who has been in his passenger seat will know of his motor racing skills...

    Our retiring Peer of the realm is possibly reconsidering his decision not to apply this year then??? Is this "breaking news?"

  9. Sadly the Dowager Lady Elpus is not too clever at the mo', so my presence is likely to be required at the family seat.

    However, this does not neccessarily preclude an unscheduled appearance at some remote challenge venue, circumstances permitting. :-)

  10. Ooh Phil... Another Cafe Akto on the Challenge, perhaps?
    Or perhaps playing the part of Gunga Din (with wine, cheese & biscuits instead of water) at a remote Cheese & Wine party?

    Sounds good Phil. Currently trying to organise a MiniDaunder for the half term period so Darren can make it. Will send emails to all shortly.

  11. The Dawg is watching everything with interest…

  12. so the secret is out you drug poor unsuspecting souls to go walking with you nice one , have you ever tried press ganging for the navy

    1. It's true, Chris...
      Our dirty little secret is out. No one in their right minds would volunteer to load half a house upon their back and walk through flooded bogs, blizzards and clouds of midges for fourteen days for fun, would they?
      It seems that four hundred or so volunteer for this torture every year... Madness!


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