THE DAY BEFORE

Penzance: Wednesday 28th February 2007

Well: That's the hard bit done. Hundreds of miles down to the start, in the pouring rain with gusty winds. Just the easy bit left now; walking back up the way we have just come. It did seem like a very long way driving down here and that was in Lynnie's car.

I made my first mistake on arriving at the hotel. The hotel lady (very nice) saw the rucksack and asked if I was doing the coastal path. Straight in, I told her the lot. I won't be doing that again as it takes ages explaining why I am taking so long over it.

This evening's entertainment: Richard & Judy. Good grief! Still this bloggy thing should keep me occupied later on on the walk.

Hotel Crit: Blue Seas Hotel, Penzance: Modern clean and very tasteful. Good filter coffee and golden crunch biscuits. So, the biscuits have swayed it. Youth Hostel or Blues Seas for tomorrow night back in Penzance? Blue Seas, then...

CORNWALL BOUND

I am a packed - finished at 12:30 last night...

Now heading to Cornwall - so next post will be from down there. Good luck to you all

Alan

A NEW TARGET

As I write this, Sue Ryder Care has benefitted to the tune of £2,245. This is magnificent in itself, but I think we can do better. So I am increasing the target to £3,500. I know that a lot of us have donated already, but why not give your friends a shove in the direction of this site?

It would be fabulous if we could achieve the new target - We have four months to do it - so let's try!

Thank you

GOOD GUYS: VOLUME II

I have made mention earlier on the blog about good people.

Tomorrow morning I am off to Cornwall so I thought I would mention a few more; to say ‘thank you.’

John Earp & ‘Jake’ Turley: two inspirational Geography teachers at school. John took us Youth Hostelling (our group pinched the sign for ‘Upper Basildon’ and smuggled it back to the Youth Hostel). This was an age when teachers took all these New Town Scruffs out to the country for lung fulls of fresh air. They both instilled a sense of wonder into me for getting out there and doing something.

Bill Kemp & Hughie Alan Duggielass (Alan Douglas): Two scout-leaders who took a scruffy little scout group and turned it into an adventure centre. We did the Brecon Beacons, the Cairngorms, canoeing down the Wye, a chunk of the Pennine way. These guys were volunteers and must have put their lives on hold to give us adventures.

Eric Few: Bracknell Parish Church organist & choir master. Another inspirational man. His house had ten toilets and if you flushed them all at once they took ages to refill… He had two cracking daughters (Catherine and Elizabeth – I wonder what happened to them…)

Brian Keenan; an amazing French master who took us on French exchanges and actually taught us to love the country, the people and the language. We all passed the exams with flying colours having been dumped into the bottom set as ‘unteachable’ by a right miserable old hag of a French mistress.

Mum & Dad: I have written enough about them already – you can find it (Here)

And lastly: Lynnie. I kept the best until last. This woman is heroic. She must be, to put up with me. She has seen me through some fantastically good times and equally financially horrendous times and somehow got through it. We haven’t talked too much about what she will do when I am away (she is going skiing, having her parents over for a couple of weeks and going down to the south west in a cottage for two weeks, so I expect she will be busy) She will also be eating lots of curry as I cannot stand the stuff. I hope she will be posting me parcels for various bits of the walk so I have to stay on good terms with her.

I have not told her how much I shall miss her. I expect when it is all getting crappy and the weather is beating me down and I am exhausted I will think about her and feel a bit better. She does that to people; she is a ray of sunshine and I will miss her terribly.

TARGET HIT

As young Mr Grace once said:

“You’ve all done very well!”

This afternoon we burst through the fund raising target I had set myself for Sue Ryder Care of £2,000 and as I write this we are currently at a magnificent £2,155.

This has been a magnificent effort, so thank you all very much.

Now then, while I am away on a bit of a holiday, I shall keep in touch, hopefully every day, to see how you are all doing. I want you all to be on your best behaviour. I have elected a ‘Senior Boy’ to ensure you all behave and stand in polite lines. (Well he sort of elected himself, and I quite like demagogues) He is John Hee and he writes a mean blog. I shall attempt to send John pictures by email so that he can post them to the blog, as the blog won’t let me email them to it. He will have full access to the publishing and so if anything untoward happens on the blog it will be ALL HIS FAULT!

As my fund raising target’s arse has been thoroughly spanked, I shall now spend a day re-thinking it and devising a new target. Of course, devising a new target means that more people have to put their hands in their pocket and donate a little of their hard fought dosh. It’s a big ask, I know.

But I know you can do it. Those of you standing at the back: I want you to step out of the shadows and take a leap forward into the glare of the spotlight. This is your moment to shine. Impress your friends. Impress yourself and help me raise some more for this amazingly worthy cause.

Please help me and visit my Sue Ryder Care page. Here is the link:

Al's SUE RYDER CARE Donation Page

There, I have made it easy for you.

And for those of you out there, the Schadenfreude lovers (you know who you are): I will soon be soaking wet, footsore and lost somewhere on the Southwest peninsular. That has got to be worth paying for!

Go to it and help.

Thank you!

PREPAREDNESS

I know there is stuff still left to do. I know there are only two more days to do it. Lethargy and laziness combine so nothing is done today.

I have read all the blogs on my list (that can take a while).

Lunch was good: Every year the TGO Challenge throws up some new characters and this year will be no exception. We have had my Lejog Personal trainer & his WW round to lunch to meet Darren – a thoroughly charming bloke who looks ready to gobble up the TGO Challenge in one leap. He is a fine mixture in the old tradition of charm, quiet confidence and capability. Neither Phil nor I were driving and so we had a splendid time.

Cheers Darren: It was good to meet you and I hope to bump into you on your Challenge.

I have still to wash all the new socks to get them slimmed down to my foot: I buy large ones, but my foot width is more a medium so I do them a bit warmer to get them down a bit and bunch up the wool to give a denser cushion.

I have got as far as Chester on the Accommodation list and Ian Shiel very kindly did a fine old bit of research for between the Pennine Way & Loch Lomond, which included a trip out to check on one particular tricky place. He really is a star.

I guess the rest of it can be done on the way itself. I know I like order & safety but really! I cannot get too hung up about it.

Maybe I will get more out of this if I just go with the flow.

THE BOOTS 2

Last Time, I promise:

The boots have now done 203.5 miles prior to setting off at Lands End, so they are nicely broken in.

SOCIAL HEALTH

Oooh.

When we moved to the village the solicitor’s searches should have dug out the dangers of residency. It is a very social place and surely injurious to health. As regular readers will know, Thursday down the Axe is Boy’s Night, followed by the Big Night on Friday. Saturday is usually party night (tonight is no exception and we are all off to Audra’s for a fortieth bash).

Tomorrow we have an International Walking Blogstar round for lunch and my Personal Lejog Trainer and his Wonderful Wife are coming along too, so that should be smashing. Lynnie was up all night preparing for it as we were out all day today down at my Mum’s, for a last visit before I set off to Cornwall on Wednesday. It was the last time I shall see her for four months so it was an emotional visit really.

Monday night I have Pete & Judy over (I used to spend weeks away working in car plants and mad nights out down in Southampton with Pete, and I have just discovered that for the last twelve years we have had a mutual friend (Joe Cocker, TGO star) and we did not realise it. I haven’t seen Pete for over fifteen years so that’s another great night coming up.

I shall try this packing thing on Tuesday night. Honest.

England are getting beaten in Ireland as I write this. The Scots have been stuffed. The world is turning upside down.

Field Conditions BLOG POST!

I think I have cracked it!

If this works, I will have typed a day's 'diary' onto a Word Document, saved it, as though saving it when there is no phone signal, got it back from the documents and then pasted it onto an email (ie when I have a phone signal) which is then sent to the blog and which should appear on the blog....

So here goes........

RADIO STAR

Ahem

Attention at the back!
Try this. I will take my bows now.
Thank you

Alan Sloman Interview




Download MP3 File

FAREWELL DINNER

I see a lot of Lynnie. We are married. It goes with the territory, well most of the time (when she is not in Dublin, Milan, Glasgow, Paris, Madrid, Munich etc and I am away in the slightly more prosaic.... Reading.

We wake up together (well, she does first during the week and makes coffee & orange juice and I do at the weekends) and so it's going to be a bit weird being away for four months and waking up to a pile of smelly clothes alongside myself in the tent.

One thing that is a worry: Who will make the orange juice and coffee?

So, in order to make up for the fact that she will have one less job to do for four months (she claims she is my 'carer') we are off out tonight for a bit of a clebratory nosh at Midsummer House in Cambridge.

Actually, Lynnie organized it as a celbratory meal - a 'sending off' meal. I cannot think why she is celebrating...

A FACE PERFECT FOR RADIO

Lynnie thinks I have a face ‘perfect for radio.’

And so, with her words of encouragement ringing in my ears I agreed to do a podcast with the World Famous ‘Podcast Bob’. Bob runs Backpackinglight.co.uk; an excellent lightweight emporium that has already supplied me with my titanium stove and countless TGO Challengers with their new lightweight kit. He has done a few Challenges himself and embraces the lightweight philosophy. One of the delights of his site is the wide range of podcasts available to download for free and you can spend many hours listening to fascinating 30 minute shows that Bob produces.

In the past, I have turned down doing a podcast on the Challenge, as I prefer to formulate my thoughts on the page, (I must be a slow thinker) but I could not resist the chance to get my ‘cause’ out there in front of so many possible donors! It will give me access to all Bob’s listeners (there are possibly thousands out there) to get my walk a bit of publicity and hopefully a bit more sponsorship for the charity I am walking for; Sue Ryder Care. As I have been writing the blog now for getting on for four months, my ideas about the walk have slowly crystallized, so I was more comfortable chatting with Bob over the phone.

So this evening Bob and I talked about the reasons behind the walk, the route, the kit I shall be taking and why I am taking it. Bob is pretty good at this interviewing lark and whilst sorting out ‘the levels’ made me swap telephones and ran through the stuff we would be talking about to put me at my ease. It felt a little like going to the dentist and being asked about your holidays as the dentist is squirting anaesthetic into the air through a whopping great needle atop a huge syringe, before stabbing it into your gums.

Well – I think it went okay – but you can be the judge of that when Bob releases it in a few days time. So, many thanks to Bob for his efforts – he spent about an hour with me and now he has to sit down for hours & hours editing out the rubbish, the ums and errs and hopefully salvage something listenable. If it all goes well for Bob in his editing, I might be seeing him again somewhere in the Welsh Borders.

Cheers Bob.

Wanda, THE WARMLITE 2C

Here you go - Yesterdays "Pitch a Hike Tent" (The Boy Scouts amongst you will remember that one!)

Hallelujah!

Well - It seems like I can post to the blog using the phone when connected to the internet, all I need to be able to do now is to be able to write off line and then send it by email to the blog, which means setting up the email account (pointless beforehand as the phone / PDA link wasn't working.) We are getting there: It's just a bit slow!

SUCCESS?

Well, here goes - using the phone to blog directly to the site

Let's see if it uploads....

BLOGGING VIA THE PHONE

Well, I have just spent an hour on the phone to O2 Technical support and have got no further forward in my attempts to connect via the phone. They sound exasperated on the phone - I wonder if they realise how I feel?

This is not going well and my teeth are now beginning to ache (the dentist did both sides of my jaw - three teeth)

ROMAN: NEW BLOGGER

Thanks to Andy Howell: Roman - who has been very helpful to me on my gear quests for my walk, has a new blog.

Find it on my 'Great Places to Visit' links

READING MATTER

A bit of a passion of mine; poetry.

For Offa's Dyke: RS Thomas
Pennines: WH Auden

Any suggestions for poets for the southwest?

And I cannot get my head around Burns....so Scotland will be lighter on the pack.

COMING, READY OR NOT!

I am on the settee again (t.s.i.m.f.)

We went out for a walk today in Suffolk. Probably the last walk until I set off for Cornwall. So we did it well. The Star at Lidgate is a wonderful little pub, run by a wonderful lady whose cooking is honest, simple and wonderful, using the best local ingredients (okay the asparagus might not have been that local.)

Phil & I went for the 'value meal'; three courses for £15 or so, washed down with a lovingly poured IPA and some vibrant Rioja. The girls, ever conscious of their figures, went for a modest two courses.

Two hours later, we tumbled out of the pub, donned the boots and strode out into the afternoon's dull weather. We tried a few footpaths, but they were sticky Suffolk mud and so we resorted to the narrow little lanes, heading southish for an hour and a half. When we had gone south for enough, I dropped the pack and put up the tent, so Phil could see it for himself. He was right: In the dull Suffolk air it did look a little 'thin'. Hey Ho.

Stowed it all away and then started heading northish till we made it back to the pub in the last shreds of daylight.

I can't see myself getting any more time now for more walks until the 'off' in ten days time, as I have to get loads of stuff for work finished so I can leave it for four months.

And then, there's the Palm computer/mobile phone blogging chaos to sort out. Lynnie might have come up with a solution - she has some techy wizards at her work who may be able to help. I hate giving in to technology, but this time I am seeking help! I need a geek.

Two teeth to fix tomorrow morning (bottom right molars; should be fun...) and a haircut to organise (it's been eight weeks & I am now officially a hippy.)

The coats: Perhaps four is overkill? Now I have the TNF gilet I am thinking of dumping the XCR Goretex, as I should be warm enough on the tops in the shitty weather. Besides, that way I can keep my beautiful Paramo Velez. I must remember to take the hood for it.

I have sorted out the camera carrying problem.

All this is incredibly mundane crap, but there you go - it all has to be sorted before I go. In ten days time, none of this will matter, as all I have to do at the first end is put one foot in front of the other until I get to the far end. That's what its about, after all said and done.

On the way home, I had a call from 'Morpeth.' It's always tricky having a phone conversation with Morpeth, as he's a broad Geordie lad and it takes me ten minutes to retune my ears. I first met Pete in '95 between Tarfside and Edzell and spent a day nodding, mainly in blank amazement, at the total unintelligibility of the dialect. He is a wonderful man, who has terrible escapades with seagulls' teeth, German camera stealing hikers, and badgers. If I get time I will write a blog all about the world according to Morpeth.

Anyway- he will be walking with me with his friend Mike, from Bellingham to Morebattle, so that gives me something to look forward to. On this hike, I will be walking with loads of fascinating walkers, most of whom I know, some I don't.

It is all becoming quite real now. No more abstract planning. This is going to be a BIG walk. With long lonely bits, perhaps, but also with some stunningly good company. For the first time, tonight, sitting here on the settee (t.s.i.m.f.) I am beginning to feel the reality of it all.

KNIGHTON

Just how many walking socks can a beardy bloke own?

I am now the proud owner of five pairs of Smartwool ‘Mountaineering Extra Heavy Cushion’ and six pairs of Thermal Liners. Not forgetting the five pairs of new laces. So what that means is that each pair of thick socks and each pair of laces have to last 333 miles and each pair of liners; 277 miles. If they last any less than that I shall be finishing the walk in bare feet.

Fascinating.

From my vantage point on the settee (the settee is my friend) I am master of all I survey on the telly. If what I have watched tonight is representative of all that is Great in our Great Britain, I am glad I am going for a long walk. Perhaps I will find out on my walk what really happens in Great Britain: What really makes Britain great? Or, if not great, slightly marvellous? Perhaps what makes it curious?

On the box tonight I was treated to ‘The Culture Show’ (a singularly uncultured programme), Dragons Den (where the Dragons invested in a teddy bear with a ‘media player’ incorporated into its tummy) and the Comedy Map of Britain which was fantastically un-comedic.

I hope to God that the real Britain out there is more entertaining than the tripe I have sat in front of tonight. Having said all that, I spent most of the time sorting out possible B&B’s from Midsomer Norton to Knighton.

I am due to have a day off in Knighton. On the places where I am due to have a day off, I am doing no web research, so that when I get there it will all be lovely and fresh and a place to explore.

Tomorrow I am going to have a nice lunch and a walk. Lynnie will be coming too as we are all having lunch in a great Spanish pub (the Star, Lidgate) and she won’t have to eat a sandwich in a field. I think she has got life in perspective. Perhaps the BBC should get in touch with her.

THE BOOTS

There are some amongst us who need to know:

195 miles so far in the New Boots.
There.

And relax.

GOOD GUYS

No, not more about the tent; you have seen enough about the tent (Well my brother Dave has, at any rate: I hope his fridge door is fixed now.) No: This is about the good guys; chaps and chapesses who are helpful and deserve a mention. Here are a few in the first wave of ”thank-you’s”.

Dan Jones: The Mountain Boot Company: Excellent chap who has sent me (free of charge) loads of laces of the correct shade and hue to match my beautiful Scarpa Nepals so that I shall end up with beautiful bows rather than a tangle of knots if I ever make it to John O’Groats.

Rob: Osprey: For sorting out my impossible to source rucksack.

Ian Shiel: (Double LEJOGer!): For superb support in the route planning stages of this effort and unselfish loan of countless maps, guidebooks and sound advice. That reminds me – I shall parcel them all up and get them sent back to him.

Derek Emsley: Another astonishing stalwart of the outdoor world. I have mentioned Derek in the blog, but if it wasn’t for him, I would not have found out about the TGO Challenge back in 1993. Derek has been very supportive throughout my planning and is going to deliver food parcels to me in the more remote bits of Northern Scotland as well as putting me up when I get to Kingussie.

Roger Smith: Who knows where to start when trying to explain what this man does. He is the life force behind the TGO Challenge. And a volunteer. Truly awesome.

Previous Helpful Groatsers: Ali Ashton & Brian Crick; whose diaries have been great reading and at times very valuable for information.

Mark Moxon: There is a link on the blog to Mark’s incredible website to help LEJOGers, but you will also be delighted to know that he has now published his walk in a book you can physically hold in your hand. That has got to be a great read.

Peter Lumley: One of the Founders of the Backpackers Club and an all round good egg who has supported a lot behind the scenes and given publicity to my walk. Also a founding member of the TGO DQMI Brigade (Didn’t Quite Make It) but this year hopes to finally nail it!

Daryl May: From the Good ol' US of A: Daryl is also Lejogging this year. He is starting three weeks after me and should finish before me on a slightly shorter walk - Great Moral Support and has been very helful with exchanges of information.

Phil Lambert (aka Lord Elpus, Richard of Gloucester etc): Personal Lejog trainer. “You’ll regret not doing that extra mile in Suffolk when you are lying face down in a Highland Bog, exhausted”

The outdoor world UK bloggers: Andy, John, Aktoman, Darren (weird or otherwise), the Bearded Git, “I’m so Dave” and Peewiglet (not a blogger, but a wonderful Gear Monster). This lot keep me laughing until far too late into the night, when I should be sleeping.

KINDER BOGS

I have just returned from Kinder Scout. I love bogs, and Kinder Scout is just one huge fabulous bog.

But back to the start. I packed the night before. It all fitted in - amazing when I was looking at the pile of stuff on the sitting room floor waiting to be squeezed in to the pack.

In doing so, I found my first mistake on the gear list: Just what is the point of having a full zip on the sleeping bag when the sleeping bag liner does not? Oh well; not the end of the world...At least I will be able to be cooler when its warmer weather.

But, as I said, it all fitted in and with room left for the Paramo jacket to fit comfortably under the lid when it's a bit warmer weather. I loaded it up with two days food, 500ml of water, some trail guides, note book (the paper kind), the computer kit, all the chargers, camera, phone, maps and everything that is going on the Lejog to see if it all worked. It weighed in at a reasonable 30lbs (sorry for the old empire weights & continental measures - it's an age thing).

I am happy with that - as I am travelling with comfort in mind - I have included a pillow, feather mattress, four coats (Yes FOUR! which includes a lovely down jacket, Paramo Velez jacket, North Face Gilet, and XCR Goretex jacket - I like coats) and two hats. I am taking Innov-8 shoes for camp and hotel/B&B wear, lots of spare socks (4 pairs of winter liners and two pairs of Mountain socks) and spare trousers.

I could cut out all sorts of stuff and be a lightweight but miserable hiker. I want to be a happy hiker and so I am taking things to make life happy over the seventeen weeks. Anyone can be lightweight, just as anyone can be miserable!

We set off from the village at a civilized hour and called in to Newark to sort out Phil's Valentine Card debacle. That sorted, we set about sorting out an all-day breakfast, then carried on to Hathersage for gear shops - I needed a new compass (the old one was knackered), new coffee & sugar bottles and the new TNF Gilet in a nice shade of black.

The new(ish) restaurant was sampled where the old hotel once stood (I had a drink in what was once my bathroom) then we set off for Edale and the Ramblers. We checked in and were straight out to the Nags Head to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening being served surlily by a fat yoof with dyed hair, a pallid complexion and an attitude problem. I don't think he likes people. Leastways, we did not see him smile once in the six hours we were there. He looked like he needed a good brisk walk in the fresh air, but that looked like the very last thing his pea-sized brain would contemplate.

Anyway, it was fun watching the keen energetic walkers come crashing into his bar after a great day out only to be dealt with with astonishing disdain. The look on their faces was priceless.

We remembered to call wives, so we did well. Phil has Lasagne. Neither can remember what I had.

Next morning we were up sharp for breakfast at eight. Except breakfast was at 9:00am. This joint is called the 'Ramblers!' How many ramblers, I wondered, wanted their breakfast at 9:00? I shall not be staying there in a few months time.

We met up with John and then had a lovely walk up Grindsbrook Clough and up onto the top, then worked out way round the edge to have a lateish lunch overlooking distant Manchester. Then followed a glorious bimble over Kinder through all the wonderful bog and snow patches. We flushed out two magnificent white hares who raced off across the plateau kicking up spray as they careered away from us.

Then it was back to the Clough and back to the pub for refreshment.

The rucksack carried well, I did okay, sort of keeping up with the two lightly loaded gazelles. I need to find a better way of carrying the camera as it twists in the wind with the present arrangement.

So - all in all - a very successful test of equipment and me! It all bodes well for two weeks time. Sorry there was no blog: No phone signal in Edale.

PACKED

I have done it.

I have managed to get the complete LEJOG kit packed in the rucksack, including the spare soft shoes. I don't know how I did it. I am a bundle of sweat and a miasma of Gigondas and Budvar; a heady mix. All the technology is stowed. The new tent. The Goretex. The spare clothes, notebooks, feather mattress etc etc etc. It's all in - Unbelievable really - It all fitted in my 53 litre little sack. I am off to the Peak District in the morning for a couple of days with my Lejog personal trainer, his Wonderful Wife and another good chap, Mr Jocys and I imagine they will persecute me with hilly things and too few pubs. I will be wearing the LEJOG full ensemble (with Lynnie's excellent Sue Ryder Care embrodered badges)

I will be cutting a fine dash in them thar hills.

I will also have a bash at blogging using the damn mobile phone (which I have yet to master and time is running out)


Amazing - It all fits! I wonder what I have left out...

THE GREEKS

There has been too much talk on this blog about Poles. Right now Poland is a cold gloomy place, filled with icy winds from the Steppes, so I thought it time we brought a bit more warmth into the proceedings. Its warmer in Greece, so there you have it.

So, here is a picture of the Greeks for whoever it was that wanted more information on them. Obviously the mobile phone is not part of the structure of the tent: It is there for scale, so you can all see what big lads these Greeks are. You will see that one Greek is bigger than the other. The Big Greek is the one at the front; the Small Greek the one at the rear. This is not a product of perspective.

I have to treat these Greeks delicately; like rose petals when assembling and disassembling, for to injure a Greek would cause huge consternation to Wanda and whoever is sleeping with her at the time. Once in their rightful sleeve, these Greeks are Gods; indeed, Titans.

So there you have it. I will leave you with them.

SEAMS & SEAMSTRESS

A late night last night in the village, followed by a good lunch in a Northamptonshire stone village gastro-pub. By the time we were home the weather was still quite perky so the new tent was put up and the gloop prepared for sealing the seams; one part squeazy see-through sealant one part thinners. A lethal combination all mixed up in a yoghurt pot and painted on to the tent and groundsheet seams. I finished by the light of the head-torch. It’s out there, out in the cold, at the moment, ‘curing’.

I am in here ‘curing’ with a nice hot toddy on the settee. Lynnie had been busy too; embroidering. She hasn’t embroidered for 29 years but has done a cracking job knocking up two Sue Ryder Care Logos; one for the rucksack and one for my Paramo Velez jacket. I will be the Beau Brummell of the LEJOG.

Lung Update: (You all want to know) the scrabbling sparrows have decamped, leaving behind two vinegar soaked brown paper bags that wheeze a lot. The seam sealant gloop has taken hold somewhere near the bottom of the lung, but this is slowly being forced out by the hot toddy’s fumes.

The Bed & Breakfast planning has only got as far as Midsomer Norton deep down in the south west, and the parcel planning has not yet started. The YHA membership card and handbook has arrived.

I am still having problems blogging through the PDA linked to the phone and so I have a bit of work to do and not much time to sort it out.

EEK!

UNCLEAN!

I am not a well man. Since a bit of a bash earlier in the week down at a rather nice restaurant in London (St Alban, Regent Street) and getting home in the small hours, I have been going slowly downhill. I am hoping the bottom was reached last night. My lungs feel like there is a beast inside scratching them raw. Every cough brings little stabbing pains. I am coughing up frothy stuff. If it’s unpleasant reading this, it’s even worse experiencing it.

We are out tonight for dinner in the village, and I am back on the settee (the settee is my friend) with a hot toddy to buck me up, watching The New Adventures of Superman (to buck me down?)

Still, the house is almost back together. Smallest of all has just about finished the downstairs loo project and the trip to Cambridge provided all the bits that wives expect to see in a downstairs loo. However, we still wait for the loo seat. And the United States Postal Service is not even involved this time.

Tomorrow is Valentines Lunch with Lynnie and so my Sunday walk is off. But I am off to Edale on Tuesday with Phil, my Lejog trainer, for a wet muddy scramble in the Dark Peak to make up for my lethargy. Hopefully my lungs will have fixed themselves by then.

‘I’m so Dave’ is roaring up the length of the country. I hope he is okay in this crappy weather. Its cold and pouring down out there and I reckon he must be in the Pennines by now.

SOLILOQUY

As some of you out there in the ether are not on the RAB TGO Challenge, you might have missed this magnificent effort, found on the TGO Challenge website, posted by 'Richard of Gloucester'

(I wonder who that could be....)

Now is the winter of his absent tent
Made glorious summer by the postman’s walk;
And all the clouds that lour’d upon his house
In deep bosoms of his fantasies buried.
Now is his brow bound with victorious wreaths;
His bruised Akto stowed with older tents;
His stern alarums changed to merry greetings,
His dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visag’d Al hath smooth’d his wrinkled front;
And now, - instead of writing barbed screeds,
To fright the souls of US postal services,-
He capers nimbly in his bright blue chamber
To the lascivious squeaking of his boots.

That Shakespeare chap could write a bit. But it does make more sense to me in Phil's updated version. Perhaps we should let them know down at the Globe? Phil could at last be gainfully employed bringing it all up to date.

ANCHORS

Wanda Warmlite needs only three pegs to stand proud atop the windswept moor. Two at the front and one at the rear. With this few, I think it prudent to invest in anchors that do just that; anchor Windswept Wanda. My old North Face Golden Nails are now quite ancient and a little bent. The tent relies totally on three pegs to hold it up and the old hollow nails just are not up to it.

So I nip over to Bearded Git on the Web's excellent site and click on his link to Clamcleats and order up a few titanium Tornado tentpegs and a trial pack of 2mm Dyneema line with Line-Locks . I will attach these to the top of the rear pole to give me bomb proof stability.

With all this snow about, it's too cold to seam-seal the tent today. Ideally I need a nice warm weekend - anyone out there who works at the Met office? Can you fix it for me?

MORE ABOUT WANDA WARMLITE

Now I have put her up in the garden, I thought I would tell you a little about her.

Theo asks if she has a single skin: Well, I suppose the answer is Yes and No.

Let me explain: You need to refer to the photographs in the yesterday’s posting to assist here. The two conical ends are single skinned. The slightly conical central tube between the two poles – the main body of the tent - is actually a sealed double skin tent – the air is trapped between the two layers of material. The outer is the balloon weight slippery nylon; the inner lining is made from aluminized fabric, so it is a warm, light tent – Warmlite.

The tent has three vents – one at the bottom at the rear, one at the top of the door, and one at the bottom of the door. These vents are covered with no-seeum mesh to keep out the mozzies. So, the tent vents itself to minimise any condensation. Any that does occur runs out of the bottom vents.

To tension the tent there are tension buckles at the front of the tent, pulling against the tension straps at the rear of the tent.

The poles are something else! Big fat incredibly strong golden pre-bent poles for the front and smaller diameter pre—bent poles at the rear. They seem to weigh nothing.

The door has two sets of zips – the outer zip is big and tough and does all the tension work and the inner zip is inset with a flap to ensure weather tightness.

When I next put her up to do the seam sealing, I will take photos to illustrate this better.

Stephensons Warmlite 2C, Roosting

Well - Here she is - A little beauty. Let me introduce Wanda Warmlite to you all. She weighs in at a sylph-like 1190 grams including pegs & stuff sacs. (not including her seam sealer, which I will do at the weekend).

More later.

You should be able to click on the pictures to get a larger view (I think - I may not have got this right!)

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED!

It is true.

Our British postmen and women are magical.

My Stephensons Warmlite 2C tent has been delivered to me at 11:35 this morning.

The journey went like this:

18th Jan: 11:10am: Collected from Stephensons, New Hampshire, USA
20th Jan: 12:48pm: Left New Jersey Airport
5th Feb: 09:08am: Arrived UK International Hub
5th Feb: 18:29: Sorted in UK International Hub
6th Feb: 00:57am: Arrived at Cambridge Depot
6th Feb: 06:58am: Put in delivery van
6th Feb: 11:35am: Delivered to my hot little hands!

I will tell you more later.

Phew!

A RARE SIGHTING

HOT NEWS!

My little Baby Blue has been sighted by ParcelForce Worldwide. It was sighted at ‘International Hub’ in Great Britain at 9:08am this morning. It has taken 15 days 21 hours and 20 minutes to fly the Atlantic Ocean.

Allcock & Brown in a Vickers Vimy flew the Atlantic in June 1919 in 15 hours and 57 minutes. For completing this amazing feat, the daily Mail awarded them £10,000 and both men were knighted.

I wonder with what I should award the United States Postal Service? Answers on a postcard please. For those of you in America, it’s probably best if you email your answers.

At least the tent is now a few thousand miles closer, and surely it cannot be long now? Unless, of course, those wonderful men at HM Revenue & Customs want to have a prod & a poke…

THE SUMMIT PARTY

Today, a dangerous expedition was successfully undertaken. The Objective: One of the Rare Suffolk Munros.

Conditions were not ideal. Freezing temperatures, unstable conditions underfoot and climbing in cloud.

The party of four braved these terrible adversities and summited at 3:42pm GMT. Messages were texted to Mission Control for relaying to the world’s media. There is no news yet as to who summited first.

The expedition’s Communications Director, Lord Elpus, said that the training was going well and that the next objective was the 233,333 ft North Face of the John O’Groats.

THE TENT

You are all dying to know this:

No.
Still no tent.

THE WRONG TROUSERS!

I have a thing about tights. They feel so good next to your skin. Close fitting. Smooth.

Mine happen to be made by Haglofs and are made from Black Polartec. I am not sure if they have a 'denier' rating'. They are magnificent apparel in the hills as they don't attract too much mud, they stretch with you, are warm (and cool in the heat too!). If they do get muddy, the dirt just brushes off.

When combined with nice big walking boots, you look like Max Wall. (See my picture top right, for the overall effect) Chipping up at a Cornish pub at lunch time, not the legwear of choice perhaps. They are the wrong trousers.

So, new 'hotel trousers' are required for the walking in the populated bits.

I visited my wonderful outdoors shop in Cambridge (Open Air, in Green Street) and Guy & Colin pointed me to a lovely pair of black Patagonia M's Simple Guide Pants.

Deluge DWR coating, softshell, and lots of zipped pockets! And bought at a very attractive price too - thanks G&C. Bearing in mind the impending weight-loss on the walk, I bought them in a very snug 'Medium' - a couple of inches off the present belly size!

Sartorial standards are maintained. Phew!

RE-LEARNING

Well, here we go again: Relearning how to post from the Palm PDA. Please forgive the random nature of the next few posts - if they appear!

LEJOG - FOR FREE

George & Ben's plan was simple - to get from Land's End to John O’Groats, by foot or by bike, without spending a single penny. The reason for doing it was to prove that hospitality and generosity is alive and well amongst the people of Britain.

Well, to see if they made it, click on the link:

http://www.georgemahood.com/lejog.htm

LEJOG BLOGGER

NO! Not me!

Dave started his Lejog on January 18th and is now at Tewkesbury. He has thrown up his job and is just winging it. He started with no proper maps! He is doing big mileages and it is the middle of winter. He is a super hero!

It's a great read. Follow it here:

http://imsodave.blogspot.com/

I will also add a link to him in my Great Places to Visit.

You can also listen to Dave on BBC 6 Music on Sunday afternoons (Stephen Merchant's show - see Dave's site for details)

A MOMENT OF CALM

I shall not speak to those terrible people at USPS today. It is not good for my health. Instead I am thinking calm thoughts. Thoughts about… Good People.

People like my wonderful Learned Friend, The Doc.

Did I tell you he lives in the village? Our village is full of wonderful people and the Doc fits slap bang into that category. Our village is also full of philanderers, rogues (loveable and otherwise), accountants, and Bank managers too, but we don’t talk about them.

My village Doc takes up the ‘Cerberus Defence’ when I visit him recently. The Practice Doctors instruct the guardians at the gates of Hell at reception, in a set of rules to protect the Doctors. But as the Doc pointed out to me, these rules are there to be leaned against, put out of shape and bent a little, from time to time. And this is that time. He trawls through my medical records on screen and gives me the current low-down on the state of the war with my kidneys. He demonstrates that he is in control of the situation, but my kidneys are not. No change there then.

Before I depart to the southwest I can collect four months of Gout & Blood Pressure pills to make me a calmer person. I am not allowed to consume them all at once, because that way I could end up very calm indeed.

When I next speak to the people at USPS I shall force a few pills down the mouth piece of the telephone to calm them down too. About a dozen should do it.